Toxic Disobedience

One of the things that must happen for Christian salvation to take place is Surrender.  It is the realization that doing things your way, for your personal outcomes is not working and that you need the guidance of God and the Love of Jesus Christ to shift and change your life and your nature.  Salvation seems like an unsolvable math equation until you experience it and live it.

 But what happens when a Christian wants to debate God's Will with God?  What happens when a Christian wants to walk in stubbornness?  This is what the older generation would call a 'stubborn will', a place of not fully complete surrender.  It can be a hard road because it puts the individual in a place of negotiation with God and even explaining to God why thing need to be done differently. It is the ultimate in arrogance.  So how can arrogance truly serve God?

What has been on my mind for a few weeks now is the journey of Jonah.  Everything that Jonah went through before and after his doing what God has assigned him to due is shadowed by his attitude.  You would think that after all he went through over his assignment that his attitude would be one of surrender, but it seems that he had to keep dealing with the consequences of his stubbornness. But was it worth it?  Isnt that always the question of watching someone walk in disobedience?  Isnt that always the question that you want to ask someone who is determined to do things their way instead of walking in obedience to God's Will?

It is as if there is a doubt of God's ability. How else could you not fully trust what God is wanting to ask of you? How could you expect to come out with less by doing things God's way than trusting God's Plan?

So Jonah is stubborn to the point that everyone on the ship with him has to deal with the storm, until he is thrown off the ship.  Can you imagine the emotional distress of the others on the ship? Can you imagine how disheartening it is to watch a person face the waves and the sea, and pending death?  Is arguing with God worth it? 

God in his mercy, and in intent that what was assigned to Jonah was in fact his assignment, not to be given to another lets Jonah live.  Let's face it, God could have allowed Jonah to die in the sea and raise up another to fulfill the prophetic assignment, so why does God allow Jonah to live?

In saving Jonah's life, God puts him in a horrible situation - the stomach of a whale. Can you imagine the smell, the taste, the environmental hazards, etc?  The toxic feel of stomach acid meant to digest food on his skin had to be horrible. But this was the place that his stubbornness got him to experience. He was alive, but surrounded by toxic filth.  All at the price if disobedience and stubbornness.

Can you imagine being regurgitated by a whale? That has to be a hard life experience.  But Jonah's attitude is still not completely right about his assignment.  By this point, he is starting to have a better understanding of the seriousness that God has towards Jonah being obedient.  And even in Jonah doing what was such a simple assignment, he still wants to have an attitude about the whole matter.

So then we see Jonah go into a mode a pouting about not being able to do things his own way.  Still stubbornness, but from a different angle, but with the same argumentative spirit.  The journey towards Christian obedience is one that each individual must take alone. Even though other Christians are on the journey with you, and it is important to be a part of a community of faith, the journey towards the blessings or correction of God is individual.

Jonah was set up to receive a prophets reward. He is still know as being a prophet of God, but his disobedient attitude and the outcomes of that are what he is most remember for.  What more could Jonah's future had been besides sitting with his attitude, angry at God, not concerned about the souls of the people that he could have reached in Nineveh  and possibly beyond if he had only developed the right attitude for ministry and let go of his stubborn will.

It is hard to watch those who want to wrestle with God's Will waste precious time in toxic disobedience that could be spent going further into the BLESSINGS of  God's Will. Jonah did deliver the message to the city of Nineveh, but where does his life journey go after that? To take a spectator's seat to watch with attitude to see what will happen is not the ideal alternative to walking in one's calling to do great ministry where you have been assigned.  It is to settle for a lot of land, when God is offering an empire.

URIAH

In the story of David and Bathsheba, we have a very interesting person who seems to get the short end of the situation.  But I often wonder if this is the only way to look at this portion of text.  I say that because Uriah the Hittite represents one of my greatest fears.

Before I explain my views on this portion of text, let me give just a bit of background information about myself. My father had 5 brothers. I lived in the house with my dad and my oldest male cousin who was 12 years older than myself. So you can say almost all of my childhood was one of feeling very protected, affirmed, and loved.  I was my dad's only child so I was destined to be treated a certain way, better known as spoiled. With this many men in my childhood I was destined to not only get most anything that I wanted, because if one uncle said no, another uncle would either say yes, or find some way to compensate by offering something else that I might want. For example, if one uncle would not give me ice cream from the gas station up the street, all I had to do was to come back and make an announcement that I didnt get any ice cream.  This would be followed by the men having conversation about why I was denied ice cream or what ever it was that I wanted.  And not much time would pass before another uncle would invite me to go for a ride with him, only to end up at Kay's Ice Cream shop which had a whole bunch of flavors on display for me to choose from.  This understanding of how men treat those they care for and love has framed my understanding of relationships in general.  It has also set the bar for how I measure the behavior of men as an adult.

Growing up in a small town, during a time when people actually sat around and communicated with each other gave me a lot of insight from the perspectives of my aunts while they were stringing and breaking green beans or something.  And many times, I got to hear the conversations (while I was supposed to be playing in the yard and not listening) of my dad and his brothers talking about community issues, political events, but also to hear a lot of conversation about women and relationships. By the time I got to be a teenager, my dad started to really talk to me about relationships directly. And those conversations helped me to understand how and why he treated some of the women that he dated differently from others.


Now back to Uriah, in 2 Samuel 11, we are told the events that lead to his death in the hottest battle. But before he died, he was given a chance to go home to his wife. Now upon reading the story, this was not as any favor to Uriah, but it was truly a set up to cover up what was going on with David and Bathsheba.  So this is where I am going to talk briefly about Bathsheba's perspective, and how it reflects one of my greatest fears.

We really dont know anything about  Bathsheba and Uriah's relationship. We have no idea what Bathsheba shared with King David about her relationship or home situation. We are not given any insight into the pillow talk that Bathsheba had with Uriah or with King David. So what we have to go on are just the facts that are presented in the text.   I have heard it preached from a lot of different angles, and most of the time those angles portray  Bathsheba as having negative behavior and motives, which I am not completely  sure are presented in the wording or the tone of the text. But I am not going to debate that at this time.  I want to really get to a woman's perspective of  Uriah's decision not to go home to his wife.

Human behavior is very telling. Regardless of what a person says, their behavior tells the much larger portion of the truth. This frame of logic is how we are going to view Uriah's decision to sleep outside and not go home to his wife.  I am going to simply say that he didnt want her, he didnt want to go home to her.  He was a soldier who knew that he could die in battle any day, and he is given a chance to go home for a few nights to his wife and he would rather not, and says that it is his loyalty to the other soldiers who are not able to have this same opportunity to visit home.

A man in love, doesnt usually, really doesnt operate like that because love makes a man want to take every opportunity to spend time with the woman that  he loves, even if it means returning to battle and his death the next day.....  That is even more justification for him to take the opportunity to spend the night with the woman he loves. A man in love is caring and attentive, and willing to do his best to make sure the woman that he loves is happy.  It was not as if  Uriah was sneaking away to visit home, but he told to go home.  Now we dont know if he suspected something, or even if he had heard gossip, because that is not given to us in the text, all we have is the excuse that he uses to not go into his home to his wife.

So can you imagine what that must have felt like for Bathsheba? Her husband is in town, but is sleeping outside with servants and refusing to come home to her.  This is rejection, neglect, and disregard. Those are the things that a woman will get from a man who does not love her.  So imagine Bathsheba being married to a man who has so little affinity or interest in being a husband to her.  You might ask, so does this validate the theories that she was intentionally trying to be seen bathing?  I dont know. But what we do see is a married man who declares more loyalty to the army and to the king, than to his wife, or even a desire for her.

To be in a relationship marriage with someone who does not love you and who does not want you is a miserable way to live out your days. Having to pretend to family and friends that everything is ok when there is no real love or passion is hurtful and draining.  God's plan for marriage is for it to be the most loving and nourishing experience that affirms both the man and woman, in such a way that their bond is both spiritually and naturally strong.  So when we see Bathsheba move on with her life after Uriah's death, I cant help but to think that she must have mourned his death, but that she must have also been relieved to not have to any longer pretend that she was loved and cared for my a man who really didnt want to come home to her.  With Uriah out of the way, Bathsheba was free to be loved and cherished.

LOVE IS MIGHTY

The holiday that is celebrated as Valentine's Day is completely made up by the materialistic and capitalistic agenda. There was a historical martyr who was killed for secretly marrying Christian couples during a time when it was forbidden. And this is significant for several reasons, because I can see our culture drifting towards attempting to make it illegal once again for Christians to marry, but that truth is not what is discussed on the holiday celebrated by this name. The world likes the money making aspect of the holidays, but wants to remove the Christian significance. And this holiday is no different.   Mostly started by greeting card companies and embraced by jewelry distributors because it stands to bring great profits to their companies by simply selling a desired concept - Love.

The truth of the matter is that love is much greater and stronger than any card, flowers, candy or jewelry can represent.  Yes, we all like to receive gifts. Yes, we appreciate that someone thinks enough to invest in showing how much they care.  There is no question about that at all.

Love is spiritual. Love is a spiritual act. Love is about positive impact in the life of another person.

Love is essentially at the core of the human ability to understand how much God considers humanity (John 3:16).  God's love can be gentle and kind, but God's love can also be redirecting and correcting.  This is not the way that the marketing world wants you to see God's love.  The little fat angels with arrows are completely different from the might angels that move at God's command.  In this same way, the world shrinks love down to a materialistic expression.  When in truth everything about God's love is mighty.

In this way, when God becomes the binding force in a relationship it becomes unbreakable. (Eccl 4:9-12). To love and to be loved is a beautiful thing that allows one to flourish in every aspect of life. The companionship is different from any other type of interaction. Love that is grounded in God's Love is nourishing. The love that the world markets at its core is like a leech, always looking for opportunity to deplete and take more and more without regard for return.  But when God is at the core of love, there is a freedom to give and be what the other person needs without any  consideration for the return, because the entire experience is enveloped in mutuality. 

Mutuality is not the same as equality. Men can handle physical things that a woman was not designed to handle, and women can handle physical things that a man was not designed to handle.  Here again, the secular world attempts to rebrand what God created.  Men and women are designed by God with specific intention, and there are some distinct differences both in physical characteristics and skill sets.  For example: A man's body is not designed or equipped to bring a living breathing life into this world, but a woman's body is built receive the seed,  to carry the developing life, deliver the person into this world, and to feed the new person until the person is able to eat from other food sources. God designs with intention.

Each gender brings something complementary to the characteristics of the other.  This is by God's design.  Men and women were never created to contradict each other nor to be in competition with each other, but were created to contrast each other in a way that draws emphasis that displays the other. Men and women were designed to compliment each other.

The secular world screams for equality, but God's economy of love was created for us to bring to the other person what they dont have within their own self.  This is what physical attraction is about and is at the core necessity of intimacy.   Society attempts to devalue what is the most priceless part of how God created male and female, with distinction.  Yes, there are plenty of things that a man can do just as well as a women, and there are plenty of things that a woman can do just as well as a man.  But, when it is all said and done, we were not created for sameness, so even in having some of the same skill sets and many features in common, we are different and where created for the purpose of being what the other needs, but does not contain within self.

We must be careful not to allow similar skill sets to appear to be signs of compatibility. Team members often have the same strengths and the same passion, but each also has to bring something that the other does not have or possess.  This is what makes the team a well functioning unit and a couple is a well functioning unit, a team.

This is why it is important to be equally yoked, for the productivity of the team (2 Corinthians 6:14).  Both spiritually and naturally, this is important. When your life is connected to the life of another person, you have to agree on which direction and for what you are working towards.  Common sense would tell you that you cant have one person wanting to go North and the other person wanting to go South, because then all of their energy is depleted in the internal struggle of the team not going the same direction. When there is a tug of war in a relationship, sadly, someone wins. And this means that someone is losing ground on the direction they want to go towards. This changes what should be a win-win into a win-lose.  This is why it is so important to attach your life to someone who is spiritually going the same direction as yourself. When both individuals are determined to go in the same direction, then there is an agreement of effort that become empowering, because both are using their strengths and skills to move forward. The team wins together.

Traditional marriage is attacked because it is evident how strong a well working unit is in accomplishing anything that the team sets its mind to accomplish.  God created marriage that way, and God designed it so that LOVE is central to motivate the individuals to withstand the most challenging of times and situations to stay focused on the end result of the family.

Growing together in God is empowering. With the love of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Ghost, the Christian couple is unified and formidable .

Godly love has a ripple affect of blessings in the life of the Christian.

HARD TO WATCH THE STUBBORN WILL

There are times when the most loving thing you can do is to take a hands off approach.  It is hard because the loving thing to do seems to be to support and guide and cheer.  But when a person has a stubborn and disobedient will, you cant do anything but allow them to learn the hard way.

Being that our culture is no longer as accountable as during biblical times, many people now do not understand nor respect the concept of having a sense of accountability to your community, especially the community of faith. For example during biblical times when something was considered a sin as unto death, this meant that you could actually be literally stoned to death. The offense was not only about the sin of the individual, but a reflection on the community as a whole, and therefore the community was within its right to respond. Currently our culture has gone the complete other end of the spectrum,  which means that we turn a blind eye to the wrong of others. Although I do think stoning is extremely harsh, I do believe that there is a place and purpose for a community, especially a community of faith, holding its members accountable for certain principles and behaviors. ( Here I must insert a note: I dont believe that 'putting people out of the church' is the correct response. As a matter of fact, I think that is just as harsh as stoning.)

Taking a hands off approach can look a lot of different ways, depending on the situation. This is very hard to do when you know that the person knows better and should be doing better. But the 'master of deception' does a good job at convincing the mind of the individual that there are other solutions other than doing things God's way, according to Biblical Principles.  That is exactly the success story of deception from the very beginning, to convince one that there are ways to get better outcomes than to be obedient to God's Principles.

The question might be asked, why would you want to negotiate with God? Why would you want anything thing other than God's Will for you?  And what do you really gain when you 'seemingly' win the negotiation with God?  Does getting your way instead of God's Will really turn out to be a win-win in the long run.... now or eternally?

The ripple effect of disobedience only leads to more and more disobedience, as one attempts to find ways to navigate making the disobedience seem like it is going to turn out alright. And before long there is a snowball affect of multiple acts of disobedience. And the disobedience leads to a house of mirrors of deception, eventually make the truth sound harsh and unreal.  As long as the individual is trying to sort out ways to make the wrong turn into a success, you cant reason with them about their thoughts or actions.

Here is where loving is hard. Letting go. Backing off.  This is also when you stop praying for God to cushion the blows that sin and disobedience are causing the person. This is when you realize that God is allowing the individual to truly see what getting their way means.   God is not going to be manipulated.  But God will let one have their way, and all that comes with it.  Being determined to be out of the Will of God, means being determined to deal with not having God's Covering or Guidance, as if saying to God that one wants God to take a Hands Off approach to one's life.

Think about it, if someone wants God to take a 'hands off' approach, then why would the same individual want someone to have a 'hands on' approach other than to support the deception? Being a support to others, often times means that you have to back away and God can allow the person to see where their way is taking their life. After all you cant become party to the wrong, or you too will find yourself slipping into darkness, and deception. 

Because here is the deal, deception loves darkness, hidden agenda, under the table negotiations and secrets.  One of the greatest clues that something is not according to God's Will is if it has to be kept secret or hidden.  I dont mean privacy, privacy is the right to keep things to yourself or away from the public.  But shame and guilt are built around those things that would not be justified as having a right motive from the start.

So why back off, other than self preservation?  I will give you an example of when my son was a toddler.  I kept saying to him hold on, dont fall down the steps.  I was doing what I thought was the loving thing to do by coddling his every move.  But one day a friend said to me, that he is a boy and he learns by understanding, and he wont understand until he sees for himself.  This was the most profound thing that was said to me about raising a son.

One day, I got up the courage to let him figure it out for himself. I was cautious to make sure that his fall was a little one and not a major one, but I had to let him navigate a few lower steps on his own, his way, without holding on.  And as truth would be revealed to him, he flopped down a couple of steps and then looked at me as if to say what happened.  The hundreds of times that I had attempted to get this message across to him, now he figured it out because he realized that he didnt like his own outcome.

This examples may seem simplistic, but from that day on, I never had to negotiate or even mention to my son that he needed to hold on while walking down the steps. Grabbing the railing became unspoken second nature.  And so it can be with someone who wants to try their hand at being blatantly and boldly disobedient to God's Principles.  The only thing you can do after attempting to coach and encourage is allow the individual to learn the hard way.  Some times the fall, the hitting bottom is what it will take to help the person know that they dont want to do it that way again.

This is when repentance is true.  True repentance is when one is no longer trying to make the disobedience work, but is willing to drop all wrong and turn with intention to do what is right with a no looking back mindset. It is the determination to be redeemed.  This is when the individual can stand before God with a sincere heart and say 'Lord, please take me back'.

Now the mindset has completely changed from negotiation with God to complete surrender to God.  Until the individual is willing to surrender, there will be a constant attempt to negotiate for good outcomes from disobedient actions and motives.  But once the individual surrenders and truly acknowledges their need for the Savior, then God can guide and send others to guide and support the individual getting back in step with the Will of God both spiritually and naturally.

CONVICTION

Sin is an addiction. The causes and affects are both spiritual and natural. Just like any other addiction, the addict feels justified because of their inability to believe that life could be better without the sin.  For the person who is entangled in sin, it is the sin that they feel like makes one feel alive. The person can not imagine feeling more alive by a life without sin.  This is what gives the sinner the joy of sinning, the urge to sin, and the sense of normalcy while living out their favorite sin or sins.

Just like any other type of addiction, the individual can change, can give up the addiction and live a life of normal activity that may actually include the chosen thing or behavior, but in a different context.  The amazing thing about sin and sinful nature is that it is caused by a distortion of thought and a distortion of the context. Most sins are taking something that is a normal healthy behavior and causing it to have more control over the individual than the individual has over one's self.  Sin at its core is a lack of self control that is guided toward what is outside of the Will of God.

Let's take Gluttony for example. I will not describe it because, depending on the individual, it can take on many forms of manifestation in one's life---- for this reason I will simply note the reference 1 John 2 and what is referred to as 'pride of life'.  In this way, it can be said that sin is selfish, having little to no regard for others or how one's behavior or mindset affects others. In other words, having the same characteristics of any other addiction. I wont bore with talk of dopamine and neurotransmitters. But just like any other addiction, science has shown that the chemicals in the brain are released that make the individual feel like there is reward in fulfilling craved addiction.  This is what makes the sin seem like a thrill, and makes the person feel alive.  The problem is that the feeling wears off, and this make the need for the behavior to become repetitive/a cycle, in other words, a sinful lifestyle.

One's way of thinking has to be distorted to justify the sin.  This is why you can point out the sin to the individual without the person ever giving any real thought or consideration to your words or the option to change.  We all want to believe that human beings can self regulate and make some basic auto-adjustments, but when it comes to sin and immorality for real change to take place the person has to be convicted.

The legal system has given us a very different understanding of conviction than that which is actually true from a spiritual perspective. In the court system the individual is tried by a jury of their peers. In this way, the burden is on proving to the jurors enough evidence to make a decision about the individual's guilt or innocence. This is why people who are in a sinful lifestyle can engage the conversation about their sin, because they are waiting for someone to convince them that what they are thinking or doing is wrong. And this is also when you will hear someone say, 'you cant make me feel guilty', letting you know that the individual is untouched by your defense of what is right.  This is also the reason why, if we are not careful, we as Christians can spend a lot of time and energy trying to convince someone to give up one's sin, in hopes that something that we say might be just what is needed to convince the person to see their ways and make the necessary changes on their own.

The individual can not even hear or give any validity to what is being said to them until they have found God. Until then the ways of thinking are distorted in favor of the sin. To spiritually auto-correct is not possible, as much as we would want for the person to auto-correct, change cant not happen until there is pneuma experience. If the individual could change on their own, then that would imply that the person could be self saving, which goes completely against the Christian understanding of conversion and salvation.   But when the individual has a moment of clarity that can only come from an experience with the Holy Spirit of God, there is an awareness of one's ideas and behaviors as God sees them.

This is the reason why we keep telling the Truth of God to individuals who brush it off or just dont want to do what is right. This is the Great Commission (Matthew 28), and this is what motivates the preacher to continue to preach.

Conviction, in the context of Christianity,  is when the individual, internally, is convinced that self is guilty of sin. Then the individual is able to hear the evidence as presented according to God's true knowledge of the details, which brings about the desire to change. This change is to completely turn away from the sinful nature, through repentance.   True repentance (action of change) can not happen until the person has been convicted (found self guilty), and makes an intelligent decision to completely surrender to God and be converted (persuaded to change).

Change is possible. Sinners can give up sin. This belief is at the core of Christianity because Christianity is build around the understanding of Salvation. And Christian salvation requires Jesus Christ. To accept Jesus Christ is to admit to God that there is a need that is bigger than self and what one can do or provide for one's self.  It is this reliance that gives the Christian the strength to live a life that is not controlled by the addiction of sin.  It is to be humbled, to let go of the pride of life. It is to realize that one needs God more than the sin. It is to realize that God is the giver of life, and makes one not just feel alive briefly, but to live truly alive with New Life that spans eternity.

As a little girl, I can remember people literally walking in off the street and proclaiming with a loud voice that they wanted to be saved. Often times this would happen during the altar call, when the preacher would say, 'if your soul should be required of you today, this very hour, would you be ready to answer the call?'

Someone walking down the street could hear what was going on inside, but this day something happened that had never happened before.  Many of them had walked by the church often because it was in their neighborhood, but when blinders were removed  and the soul was willing to hear what God had been saying, the individual became aware of their guilt of sin and wanted to change, wanted to be free from the thing that had control over their life. The individual was able to see that the feeling of being alive that they were experiencing by being controlled by their sin was no longer as appealing as the search to find out what it was really like to be free from the bondage of sin and know truly what it was like to be alive, to be born again, given a new life in Jesus Christ.

Sea of Forgetfulness

As I attempted to settle down for the night, I thought about all that has been going on with me lately.  And to be completely honest, this thought process includes some people that I truly wish I had never met.  In the midst of my thought process, I had to face the fact that I cant just un-know these people. Instead, I have to figure out how to move on from this phase to the next, and hopefully just move on to what is ahead for me in my life, both naturally and spiritually.

This doesnt mean that I was not trying to figure out the most perfect solution to the hurt and disappointment that has been the effect of betrayal and disloyalty. In my mind, I really wanted there to be a way to truly just forget that I ever knew these people that have had this negative impact on my attempt to be a friend. I thought if there were really a way for me to put all knowledge of these people into the sea of forgetfulness and never to remember that I ever met them at all.

The more I thought about it, I began to realize that this is not very different from what is being talked about in Micah 7.  We always want to use the concept of the Sea of Forgetfulness as this wonderful blessing that we get from God. Which is true. ... and here comes the conjunction...... BUT.

But what we dont want to face is the fact that something is going on in the text that we must make not of.  The attitudes and behaviors that God expected from the People of God were not how the people were living.  God had high expectations and high hopes for the People of God.  That is still true today. God has high hope and high expectations of God's People.  So when the behaviors of the individual, of the community of faith fall short, God is disappointed.  Then there is  something worse than just disappointing God, it is disgusting God. 

Abomination is much more than disappointing God, it is being completely disgusting to God.   As I thought about how disgusted I am with those who have disappointed me, I also had to think about how God views abomination.  How is God able to tolerate dealing with a human who is living so far below God's expectations?   I had to search out a way to understand that what God has to do is just put the sins of humanity into a place to be forgotten so that God can remain able to be available to humanity.

It is the mercy of God.  It is the patience of God when God's patience has run out. It is God wanting to stay in relationship with the People of God, even though the people have lost sight of the value of the relationship with God.  The kindness of God reaches much farther than we realize. God is so willing to forgive us of our sins.  When we dont even try to do right, knowing that God is watching, we are disappointing God, and we are disgusting God. 

So more than bragging about how God will forgive and forget, the more important concern should be why would we want to be such a disappointment to God that we disgust God?  What if we just decided to live right, so that we could be intentional about pleasing God?

After all, isnt that what being given another chance is about?

Unplanned PLAN

There are clearly some things that were not in my plans for my life, but they were ultimately part of God's Plan for my life. Today I have really been giving some thought to my journey. Recently, it would seem that things are going exactly the way that I was trying to prevent having to deal with.  I want the final outcome, but not the challenges that would be the risk of losing something to gain something. Not in the same way that I invest in products for my business to be able to provide a service to my clients. But more like a mother who wants to have a new baby, but does not want to feel the pains of labor.

In recent years, there have been medical advances that have taken away the necessity of enduring the pain of labor. And overall, our world is filled with comforts that take the work out of many of the every day processes of life. Washing machines, electric saws, power tools, and on and on. I think back to learning how to make cake icing, and the process required this combination of mixing and whisking to blend the ingredients, and even after they were blended, you had to whisk the mixture at least 100 strokes to make the icing have the correct fluffy texture. And even now that I have many of the electric kitchen tools, there are some things that to me just dont come out the same without the work of doing it by hand, and icing is one of those things. 

So we have become so accustomed to the world of convenience that we often forget that some things have no shortcut process that will produce the same results as going through the process. Just like icing or grilling meat low and slow over charcoal, there are some things in life that have to happen a certain way for the most rewarding outcome. And as I was thinking about the events of my life in recent days, I began to reminisce on the book by Zora Neale Hurston, "Their Eyes Were Watching God" which is about a main character who is living her life, but surrounded by spectators who all have an opinion about her life, as if they understand her journey more so than she. The character navigates her life, its ups and downs working through the challenges as they come to her reality, as she is finding her way. 

In this same way, each of us has our journey through life to navigate and it is very much an individual process that happens while simultaneously being surround by community. When someone has a call to ministry on their life, it can be assumed that God has a plan for that person's life.  No matter how much anyone has an opinion about what that looks like, it is God who is taking care of the details. To grow to the point of being able to flourish in one's gifts and live out one's calling, there are some parts of the journey that are growing one's skills for ministry.  This means that it will not always flow with the ease of water going down hill. There will be times when one will have to face some things head on and take the challenge to grow, if one is really surrendered to the point of allowing God to be in control of what is ultimately God's Will for one's life in ministry. 

From point A to point B, is not always clear, there will be times when one will have to whole-heartedly trust God for the details to work out as planned by God, not by our idea of how things should go.  I have been asking God to show me how to get to point B without the discomfort of the middle part of the process. The discomfort is part of the journey, it is what make the reward worth the effort.  Just like a track runner who wants to be the fasted, it cant happen sitting in the stands, but it happens by learning everything necessary to sharpen one's natural ability and from running until time gets better. 

The challenges we face in life are not always ideal, nor comfortable to go through, but when you want the outcome badly enough, you decide to face the challenge head on and take the bad with the good, because it will be worth it all in the end.  Today, I decided that I am up for challenge of facing the discomfort that will only have to be endure for a short time to get what I ultimately want to see manifested in my life. The discomfort cant be avoided, it is part of the path that leads me right to where God is taking me. 

Psalms 23:4 - "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

It is not actual death, it is just a shadow and shadows only produce fear when you  dont know what it is a shadow of or from what source.   Since I know that it has been my own fear, I can ignore the shadow.  I will continue on toward what God has for me. I want God's best for my life because it will be worth the challenges along to way and shadows let me know that God's Light is what is real. 

I Haven't Ask God For Enough

This evening I had a conversation with a friend who is a single parent like myself, and we were talking about the challenges of even meeting a potential companion. We are both single parents and our lives are built around the activities of church and our children.  We attend a large church, that is probably about 85% or more married couples, and most of the singles are females.

In our conversation we both agreed we didnt have any brilliant ideas about where to add meeting new people to our lives. I mentioned some of the possible activities that we might explore to meet new people in general, activities that would be co-ed and not just full of more single women. We tossed around a few thoughts, but didnt come up with anything that would be an Aha! moment.   So we left the conversation with continue on as usual as the stopping point of our discussion.

I went home thinking about all that I needed to do to settle in for the evening and to get ready for tomorrow. As I reflected on our conversation, in my mind, I went through what was wrong with the last person that I attempted to consider allowing into my life. I thought about all of the disappointment and the betrayal that was the package that this person brought with him. I had tossed and tossed in my mind about what was the problem, because after all he was saved. So a saved man would be trustworthy and dependable and full of integrity - or so I thought.

This is when it dawned on me. This was when I had the AHA! moment. I had been making an amateur's mistake in my prayer for a life companion. When I went down through all of the thoughts in my mind about what I didnt want to have to deal with at this phase in my life, it occurred to me that I was making the assumption that someone considering himself a Christian, meant that he was the whole package. I was absolutely wrong!  This actually only meant that he had completed step one, in a life long, three step process.
What I was not asking for in my prayers was someone who was more than saved. No, I am not taking about his material gain, or his education level, or even what was in his past.  But what I was missing was something extremely essential to his present state of being in his walk with Jesus Christ = Sanctification and being filled with the Holy Ghost.  I have been around the church world of Pentecostals most of my life and these three works of Grace are considered essential for maintenance of a Christian Life of Holiness. I had forgotten, that everyone who considers to be Christian is not trying to become more like Christ. Some people are willing to take the just enough approach to having a relationship with Jesus Christ. I dont want someone in my life who is taking the minimalist approach to Christ.

It takes wanting to go to another level in relationship with Christ, to live Godly and walk away from the sinful nature, giving up the things in life that are contrary to a life of holiness. I am not claiming to be perfect, so I dont expect my future companion to be perfect, that would be unrealistic and self deception.  But do want someone who is working on being a better man, and who in his heart, truly wants to live a life that is pleasing to God.  For that to happen, he will have to want more of God, more of God's Holy Spirit. The person has to have a hunger for the things of God. The person has to realize that everything else that he has tried has not cured the uneasiness in their being.  It is when the person has come to the conclusion that there has to be a better way, and be willing to give up everything that hasnt worked, for what God has to offer. He will have to have already come to the conclusion that what he is thirsty for can not be found in a sinful lifestyle, but only in the 'wells of salvation' where there is joy and peace beyond compare to anything that sin has to offer. He has to have a thirst for what is right. He has to want to be right with God.  This is the place of no longer wanting to struggle to maintain a life of sin, a life that goes against God plan for LIFE.

All of the things that I dont want to deal with in a relationship, and especially in a future companion wont be a problem with a man who wanting to go in the same direction that I am going, and who has no interest in going backwards spiritually.  So I now realize that I have been very minimal in my prayer. I don't just want someone in my life who is saved. I want a man in my life who is SAVED, SANCTIFIED, and FILLED  with the HOLY GHOST.  I want the whole package. I want God's best for my life.

SHAME

 A few days ago, I was thinking about how is it that some people can come before God with a sense of entitlement and arrogance ... and other people can come before God with humility and appreciation?  In my thought process, I began to think about my grandmother.  When we were children and would do something obviously with the wrong intentions, she would say, "have you no shame?" 

That was the cue to do some self reflection, and correct the behavior... Not just at that moment, but from that moment forward. 

When we look at so many of the events that are taking place with those closest to us, and as far reaching as the national platforms - the question is still a valid one to ask.  Police have no shame in killing both the incident and the guilty without due process of the legal system, males procreating but not fathering their children, people walking around all day -out in public- in pajamas or with their underwear on display, broadcasting intimate life details on social media..... And on and on and on.

There is a lack of connection to what is right and good. Our society has become accustomed to anything and everything. The standards are so relaxed now, that even the most basic requirements seem like too much to ask. Everyone believes that they are a good person, because behavior should not be the measure of one's character. It is as if good and evil are now void of meaning.  That is how the decline of morality has seeped in to the norm of our culture. The inability to acknowledge anything, is in essence a way to affirm everything.  It doesn't work that way. 

Acknowledging one's own sinful nature is even more challenging under these terms. Because under these terms, there really is no sin, just misinterpretation.  So it is much easier to redefine everything constantly and conveniently than to call things wrong or right according to biblical standards.  It is much easier to point out the flaws in the character of others than it is to be introspective and to acknowledge one's own flaws.  It is larger than claiming or owning an act or event of sin, but the humiliation of knowing the lack of one's own moral accountability. Example: A married Christian protesting gay marriage, but being unfaithful in one's own heterosexual marriage.  {My grandmother would say, "two wrongs don't make a right.}  It is a hurtful feeling to humiliate yourself to yourself. This is when you know that you are wrong, even if no one else knows or identifies it. 

Have you no shame? = Are you not able to hold yourself accountable for what you know is right?  

The kind of shame that leads a sinner to repentance is the ability to stand in awe of God's completeness of being (Wholeness/Holiness), and comparing one's inferior state of being (sinful nature).  I use the word 'ability' because the sinful nature brings with it arrogance and a sense of self righteousness, which has to be shattered before one can realize the need to change.  It is hard to be humiliated, especially internally.  Shame is not about being humiliated by the awareness that others see your wrong, but it  is the internal dialogue that happens within self.  When the error of your ways become so overpowering that change is absolutely necessary, this is when one is ready to surrender to God. Conviction is being convinced that wrong was done. Repentance is the determination to change from a nature of wrong-being, intentionally going in the right direction - in mindset, intention and deed. 

When a person has no shame:  wanting the results of what is right, but lacking the desire to be or do right.  It is wanting the reward without the effort.  This leads to behaviors that lack integrity. The lack of integrity is also a lack of shame. 

Sanctification is the intentional effort to live a life separated from sin, it is biblically based integrity. It does not imply perfection, but intention.  The greater the intention, the more probable the success of the effort. It is an effort that becomes a lifestyle. The more it is practiced, it becomes the norm. Each day, each individual has to make a conscious effort to make sin the norm or to make sanctification the norm. Each day, the effort will become easier to maintain the course, and this is why it is important to remain intentional. 

The nature of humanity is such that in most, if not all cases, the change of behavior will not come until one's desire to be right has become solidified.  Forced change can take place due to social norms or even penal systems, but a change of heart has to happen from within, before the individual is really capable of true repentance.  For example,  a child can hit another child for no reason and an adult require a verbal apology to be given. The child can learn when it is appropriate to say the words, but never have any intention to stop hitting the other child. But once the child determines that he or she does not want to hit others for no reason, the behavior will shift, not only to avoid hitting others intentionally, but also making  the effort to not hit other unintentionally.   That is the formation of character. 

So when we have expectations of God, but no desire to change -  "Have we no shame?" 

Due Season

There is a moment in time when what seems impossible or beyond your ability suddenly looks different to you. Not because the situation has changed in the natural, but because your perspective has changed spiritually. It is when you realize that God is much more calculating than the challengers and much more limber than the obstacles. It is when you begin to see the unimaginable starting to manifest before it has actually happened completely. It is when your perspective changes from 'I don't see how'...... to 'there is NOTHING too hard for GOD'.  In that moment, you realize that God is about to give you a miracle. God is about to do something that a human could not do or take the credit for when it happens.   When it is a true miracle, no one can be given the credit for the accomplishment but God. 

One of the most amazing things that can happen is to watch God bring about a shift in a situation in your life.  There are times when you can't  see or imagine how to get from one manifestation to another, but God is so much better at the details than we could ever be, and God works in and through things that we have not even thought could be resolved. It is the awesome ability of God to orchestrate and demonstrate POWER.

Many times we think of due as a moment, but it is a time, a season. When the season shifts we must be ready.  We must be tuned into the Will of God, and to the Holy Spirit, so that we can properly respond to the shifting of the seasons.

Due Season is a shift that is not able to be calculated exactly, but when it comes, we have to be ready to change our mindset, because our function and mentality have to shift with the season. It is similar to harvest for the farmer. It does not happen in one day, but in one day you can realize that it is time to shift. The shift is when you begin to see things as ready for another phase than before.

Due Season is when you have to begin to work differently because the task and goal is different. It requires a completely different mode of operation, one that you have to be prepared for, or you will not shift efficiently in what must be done.

For example, the farmer who has prepared the ground, and planted and watered, and pulled weeds and kept an eye on the field, will begin to notice the changes that occur as the field begins to sprout and then to grow. As it grows, the farmer can begin to anticipate and even calculate when it will be time to harvest what has been planted. But there will come a day when the farmer realizes that it is time to shift, from nurturing the crops to harvesting the crops. It would look like he is destroying his own work, but in truth he has shifted to another season.  Every thing about his mechanism must change because it is a new season. One that requires the readiness to do something with the harvest. Not only does the harvest have to happen within a window of time, but also what is going to be done with the newly harvested crop must also happen in this season, or else the work will only produce a portion of its full potential. The crop as it is harvested has to be managed to prepare for use and for storage. If the crop is not stored properly it will not be able to keep for a long period of time and much of it will become useless and spoiled. Therefore, the crop must be gathered and stored in a way that gives it potential not just for the due season, but for the seasons that are to come that will not produce anything new. It is God's way of preparing us for a time when nothing is coming due, but so that we will have no lack or need.

This is why it is so important to understand the value of the Due Season. The excitement of knowing God is providing must be met with wisdom to understand that it is God maturing some things in our lives that God has been preparing and making ready. When all the details are just as God wants, then the season shifts and the value of what we have been looking at one way suddenly turns as we see things coming not only to natural maturity, but spiritual maturity.

Due Season is the day that you realize that the shift is actually happening, that God has actually done more than you could have imaged possible. It is like the crop planted in the ground, the dirt is covering its progress, just like the situations in our lives cover our own progress. But as the plant grows and sprouts above ground, it is easier to see the progress. We have to know that God is working even when we don't see the progress. This is our faith in what God has promised.

When we begin to see the things sprouting, we can get excited because of its potential, but when God brings it into full maturity, it will be beyond what we could have ever imagined, because it is not only to help us survive, but it is also to nourish us -- both spiritually and naturally.  It is also to help us walk in the fulfillment of our purpose and calling.

Due Season is not just to relieve the needs and lacking places in our lives, but it is to give us the strength and nourishment to walk in our calling and give us the fortitude and tenacity to walk in every gift that God has placed within us.

God's provision is amazing. God's provision contains so many details that we could have never even imagined. And in the timing of God, when every detail that seemed to be separate and unconnected  suddenly makes sense, that is God showing us that it is time to prepare for a new season in our life. When God's Promise suddenly seems tangible, that is God telling us to get prepared for the harvest that we will have when the season has shifted. It cant be rushed, but we also have to be ready.

We have to have our mind prepared to let go of the old season and the work that we did in that past season and look forward to the things that will take us forward in God and the abundance of what God has been preparing to place before us in Due Season.


John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come so that they may have life, and may have it abundantly. 

Why Be A Christian?

What really separates Christians from the rest of the world? This is the question I have been asking myself lately. Not because I dont  already have my own ideas about the subject, but because I am curious to know what the mental status is of the masses.

For me, being a Christian, has everything to do with understanding and replicating, in my own life the ideology, theology, and compassion of Christ. After all, Christ was concerned with those in the community. People were drawn to Jesus Christ because he had something to say, but also because his actions had a huge and wonderful impact on those around him.  If we are to call ourselves Christians, followers of the life and teachings of Christ, then it should stand to reason that our lives should show some effectiveness in impacting the lives of others in a positive way.

Docile should not ever be the mode of operation for a Christian, who is attempting to live a life motivated by sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ. This does not mean that Christians should be constant warriors, nor does it mean that Christians should be absolutely passive. But what it does mean that we should navigate the impact that our life has on those around us in such a way that we reflect what it is that we say we believe.

Lately I have found myself amazed at how many people who are good church attending Christians, but have no sensibility towards anything outside of their church and home. How can you effectively share the love of Christ when your only concern is for people who are already stepping inside the doors of the church?  Dont get me wrong, there are definitely some people attending church who are not necessarily followers of the teachings of Christ. So yes, there are lives to be impacted from inside the church, but there are masses of people who are walking this earth hurting, lonely and feeling disconnected from God, who could use some insight into how the Good News includes them.

Church as a community of believers is important to strengthening each other, both naturally and spiritually, as we all attempt to navigate this life, but we are also held accountable to the need for those who are not connected by a relationship with Jesus Christ. But in so many ways, church has become just the alternative to the club, where people show up for the ambiance, the music, networking, or just to be seen. Attending church should not have the same agenda as going out to the club. And wearing more conservative clothes does not mean the the agenda of your heart is right.

Church attendance should not be about proving to anyone that you are just as much of a Christian because you are always there. Church attendance should be about a desire to learn more about God through the fellowship and study of the Word of God in the presence of like-minded followers of the teachings of Jesus Christ. Hearing the preached Word is important because it should draw you in to realizing that God is waiting to receive you into a relationship with all that the Kingdom of God has to offer you both in this life, and in the afterlife.

 As Christians, our own relationship with Christ, has limited growth potential until we become active agents of Christ' love and concern for others, and not just the people that we like or the people that we think are worthy. If receiving the love of Christ was based on who was worthy, then none of us would be eligible. In fact, it is realizing how unworthy we are that leaves us in awe of God's willingness to love and provide for us.

Anyone who thinks being loved is based on meeting a certain set of criteria, has missed the entire point of receiving love.  None of us have received loved because we were deserving of it, we received love because of the heart of the giver of that love and the desire to share it.  It is a matter of desire that compels us to want to share the love of Christ with others. Once we truly understand the depth of God's love for us, we cant help but want to share this great love with others.

I am thankful to God that Love was not given to me based on what I deserved, but based on what I needed, even when I didnt know that it was love that I needed. God has blessed each of us with the opportunity to show the Love of Jesus Christ. It is time to stop holding on to what was meant to be shared --- for it is in the spirit of sharing this Love that we find deeper understanding of our own relationship to the Ultimate Giver - God.

Humanization: Part 1 ( Inter-racial Relationships)

About a decade ago, when I was in seminary, a dear professor stated to the class that the best understanding of inter-racial relationships could be found in the Disney movie, "Beauty and the Beast". As I listened, I understood what he was saying, but now, a decade later, I get it. I now realize that I wasn't fully able to grasp the concept. I saw it no deeper than the socialization aspect. But now I get the impressions of the psyche that are manifested in the concept that was being presented.

What caused my further understanding has been a reflective re-reading of "Pedagogy of the Oppressed" by Paulo Freire.  Amazingly this book dissects some basic experiences in terms of their affect on the psychological thought process of a person. So by taking the concepts presented in this book and framing my understanding of why inter-racial relationships are important for so many in this day and age. I get it.

As a 'free spirit' who does not look kindly on attempts to further oppress me, I now understand all the more the reasons why I have never been that interested in inter-racial dating as a choice for myself. I guess I could slightly correct that statement, depending on what you consider inter-racial, since I have dated persons other than African American. Anyone who knows me personally will affirm that I am truly my own person.  That is not to say that I have not had my own battles with being oppressed because I have, and on so many levels. But at this point in my life, I am enjoying the freedom to embrace who I am, both internally and externally. And in some ways, I realize that I am still working to define my own humanity in this world that sets limitations on individuals not only on the basis of race, but also based on gender.

Ok, so since my point here is not to write about myself, I must return to my topic. According to Freire, oppression is grounded in dehumanization. Seeing one's self as less than human is the ground work that must take place for all parties involved to agree to the situation of being oppressed. With that in mind, upon looking at the stereotypes that people of the African diaspora live with on a daily basis, it only makes sense that some would seek to be viewed on a higher level of humanity.

After all, most of the times when we leave a relationship behind, it is about the denial of one's own humanity. When you begin to realize that one is being treated in a dehumanizing way, that is when one begins to look for the exit door to the situation. I would further argue, that those who remain in dehumanizing situations do so because they are not able to fully embrace or affirm their own humanity. This is also the same reason that an individual who treats a person of a different race better than they would consider  someone of their own race as deserving to be treated. Somewhere in their mind, they realize the need to elevate their own sense of humanity, but at the same time, they are still willing to deny another person the same need to be appreciated beyond the status of sub-human.

When I was younger, I would always hear people talk about the people, back then it was mostly men, who chose to date outside of their race, as attempting to 'to socially upgrade'.  But at this point in my life, I would argue that it is an attempt to be viewed as one who has done more than evolved, but who has faced the challenges of the psyche to embrace one's own humanity. It is the refusal to be seen as anything less than human. It is the denial to accept the oppressive forces of being dehumanized. It is the internal self awareness to see one's self as deserving all that is humanly possible in life and love.

So, you might ask, is inter-racial dating necessary for all of that? No, but for some people, it is the manifestation of their internal awareness that they need to be view as fully human with all of the life and breath that comes from living as one who is free to exist instead of one who has to ask the world to pardon their being in the world. It is un-apologetic about the right to have the life and companionship of a fellow HUMAN-being regardless of the outer skin. It is so much more than just the meshing of cultural differences, it is about the embracing of all that it means to live and love and to do so regardless of race or ethnic background.

Those who oppose inter-racial relationships do so because they see one of the races involved as less deserving of what the other race has to offer. And they protest the infiltration into their own race for fear that it will dehumanize by association. It is the struggle to continue to oppression of others by way of feeling oppressed in one's own being.

Lastly, I would argue, that when one fully becomes aware of who they are attracted to and why, then it will never be a struggle to embrace one's own humanity, and therefore the individual can be free to love based on the connections of the human spirit and not just because of the outward skin.

Relationships are about embracing the humanity of each other with mutual respect and admiration. Relationships are about BEING  human together and to each other. Love is about acceptance- as is- but with the growing potential to become better together.  When your ambitions within the relationship fully manifest the humanity of the other person, then both individuals can find the freedom to love. And love definitely transcends race, creed or national origin.

Behold The Bride-Groom Cometh!!!!

Have you ever been so familiar with something that you really didn’t look at it with close inspection? Have you ever had that moment when you saw something in a different light, and then wondered why you had never seen it that way before? 

 

Well I had one of those moments today. I am sure that some of my readers will have the same level of excitement about this as I, and I am sure that some will not like it at all. But to all, I write with peace and grace.

 

My entire life, being raised in a Pentecostal–Holiness church, I heard about the hope of believers in the return of Jesus Christ for the Church.  The Church is understood to be the Bride of Christ. Matthew 25:6 stirred up expectation in every believer.

 

At the same time, it was completely understood that leadership in ministry was for men only. There was no place for women in ordained leadership. Women were encouraged and even expected to work tirelessly for the ministry with their gifts and talents, but only in supporting role capacities.

 

There was no denying that women could handle most of the task that take place in the local church, doing everything from cooking meals to serving meals, to cleaning after the meals were finished, to preparing the programs, ushering and passing out the programs,  and being on the program, to designing the choir robes to singing in the choir in the choir robes. 

 

As a matter of fact, when the church observed the sacrament of communion, in the days long before the prepackaged communion portions, it was, and still is, the women who prepare the sacred table for the Lord’s Supper. As the service transitioned to the observance of the Holy Sacrament of Communion, it was a woman, a Mother of the Church,  who read I Corinthians 11: 23-34. While she was reading, the women did everything that needed to be done during this sacred time of the service. But when it was actually time to serve the communion to the congregation, in my church, this could only be done by an ordained elder and only men were ordained.

 

As a child, I never gave this reality much thought. But as I got into my early twenties, the analytical side of my being started to develop. It was then that I began to wonder why it was that women could prepare the food for before and after the service and touch everybody’s plate in serving food to church members,  friends, and family. But suddenly when we were observing the most sacred piece of cracker and grape juice, suddenly the women who had put it on the plate and in the little cups were not allowed to serve it to the congregation of believers – the same believers that they would serve chicken dinners to any other time.

 

A decade later I would learn about the debate between substantiation and transubstantiation. Ok, fine, but my denomination’s stance on the Eucharist is that of Zwingli, that the elements of the table do not change in essence but symbolize the Body and Blood of Christ. So what does gender really have to do with who serves the Last Supper to the congregation? 

 

Well moving right along,-------  I began work to wrap my brain around how God really felt about women. Ended up getting a Liberal Arts degree in Religious Studies from taking classes just to learn and understand about God and Religion. I know that a lot of men are chauvinists, some know they are and others have no idea that they are, but still the truth remains. I just don’t believe that God is a chauvinist.

 

Now years after graduate school (seminary), having read a lot of theological works and a few on feminist theology, and a few on liberation theology, I still in my own self wonder why the issue of women in ministry is such a hard thing for the church, not just my denomination, but for many denominations to accept?

 

At the same time, that women are being told that they now can excel in the corporate world, the church is saying that you shouldn’t do that in an ecclesiastical setting. Why does the church encourage women to excel at mediocrity?  I kept wondering why was God calling women to the ministry, only to have them face being ostracized by many Christian denominations. In my own struggle to understand, I kept wondering why the church treated all women as if they were equal. I mean, every woman is not called to leadership in the church, just as every woman is not called to run a secular corporation, every woman is not a great cook, every woman is not a great seamstress, etc.

 

Each woman has her own unique gifts and talents. Women vary just as much as everything else n God’s creation. It is dehumanizing to assume that there is no difference or distinction on how God created each woman unique and to God’s own liking. This would be the reason that wives are not interchangeable.  Why have so many women become ecclesiastically docile? Hear me when I say being respectful and docile are two completely different things.  A woman is to submit to her own husband, not every man in the world. Seriously, who wants their wife or daughter obeying the thoughts of any and every man? That is a dangerous thought process at best.

 

I have watched so many women who are movers and shakers in their career become mousy and ashamed in a church setting. Which manifestation is the truly God given identity, and what would God have them use their ability to accomplish for the kingdom of God, if they were liberated to serve God to full capacity?

 

I am sure by now, if you know your bible, you have your list of scriptures ready to reply to what I am saying…… I know them all. I was raised hearing them.

 

Ok, so you are asking, if I know about the scriptures concerning women being silent in church, then what is the point of my writing.  Glad you asked. Now I can tell you.

 

First of all, I am not calling for women to disrupt the worship service of their local church. But if you truly believed that women should be silent in church, why are they allowed to do ANYTHING during the service or in the sanctuary for that matter? If you want women to be silent in church, then why are they singing in your choir and on your praise team? Last I heard, you cant sing silently…….and no one has ever mentioned us all going outside when it was time for a woman to sing. And what about the announcements?  In most churches, it is a woman who reads the announcements. So shouldn’t she be reading them silently?

 

The truth is that both in the world and in the church, it takes both men and women working together to accomplish the furtherance of the Gospel. There are certain things that each of us does well regardless of gender.

 

But let us future forward to the day when Christ will return for the Church. It is like this – on the wedding day the bride must be ready for the groom. We all know this in the natural. The bible gives us some insight into the expectations for the Bride of Christ, ‘without spot or wrinkle’.  The Church must not only be well prepared for the return of Christ, but there is a lot of attention given to detail. Everything is prepared. 

 

I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before now. I guess it was not time…. I am sure that this understanding is all about timing, not my timing but God’s timing.

 

As a child is growing up, a lot of people impart into the growing life and mind. The mother or grandmother or some mother figure is the first teacher that a child has in the world. Both males and females learn from her.  As a female approaches the age of marriage, some of the knowledge she will need must come from a female in her life.  Both men and women have been a part of her learning and preparation throughout life. But on the wedding day, a lot of preparation that has taken place over time is manifested in the moment that the bride is presented to the groom.  Most of that preparation was done long in advance of that actual wedding day, but all comes together on the wedding day.

 

 As the Bride of Christ is getting ready to be joined with Christ at his return, everything must be made ready.  The bride must be ready, and a man can’t dress a bride.  Not even the father of the bride, who has protected her from all danger, participates in her dressing for the wedding. When she is ready, the father will present her to the groom. But the father leaves the preparation and dressing of the bride to women. So why wouldn’t the Almighty God entrust women with preparing the Bride of Christ.

 

It takes a woman to see the revealed body and to prepare it and adorn it to meet the groom. A women, who is attentive to every little wrinkle that might go un-noticed, or to find the spot that might be hidden in an un-obvious location.  It takes a woman to give the attention to detail need to make sure that everything is as best as it can be for the presentation of the Bride to her Groom.

 

The church is made up of both men and women, serving and growing in relationship with God. As we approach the time that the Bride of Christ but be prepared to meet Him when He come, God is selecting those whom God has equipped for the last attention to details as needed. Women in Ministry have been called by God to dress the Bride of Christ. Let us make ready for soon we shall hear, with expectation the proclamation, “Behold the Bride-Groom cometh”.

Should Christians Be Entrepreneurs?

For those of you who know me, this may truly seem to be a rhetorical question, but bear with me as I work through this thought.

Just as an entrepreneur, to be legitimate, must have the proper credentials to work in a geographic region or state, so does any corporation that would hire someone to do the exact same job as an employee of that particular company. In the corporate setting the individual may or may not need to have a license to perform that job. There are many aspects to being an entrepreneur that differ from being a corporate employee, more than I actually care to go into at this time. But it is safe to say that 'it cost to be the boss'. To be an entrepreneur, you have to be willing to invest in your own success or failure.

Now that being said, there are all kinds of people who are capable of performing a specific task or job, who lacks proper training or licensure (what some would call 'boot-leg'). But to truly be defined as an entrepreneur some steps had to be taken to operate or function as a business. For example, as a licensed cosmetologist, I have a license from the state that lets anyone know that I have completed to proper training and met the requirements to have my name on that license. With that license, I have the choice to set up shop for myself or to find a place to work for a business that will allow me to function within the boundaries of my licensure.

As I pondered my heartfelt theological stance on a statement that a friend made, I had to formulate what my stance was on this ideology. Not just as one applicable to business practices, but also as it applies to ministry. It began with hearing someone, who is an entrepreneur repeat what her pastor says regarding those who decide to found or pastor a non-denominational church.  The person I was speaking with made the statement, 'a non-denominational church means they dont want to obey leadership'.

My first instinct was to defend the misconception that all non-denominational churches are not in fellowship with other like-minded ministries/organizations and therefore accountable to that organizations structure. I do realize that most people have been lead to believe that non-denominational churches are all part of some pseudo-christian gypsy like cult.  But the truth is that leaders and churches, do at times, liberate themselves from mainstream denominational obligations for a number of reasons. This does not mean that their ministry is illegitimate or demonic. 

Are there cults out there? Yes.  Are there churches who severed ties with their denomination because they had issues with a  or some of the leaders? Yes.  And there are those who for what ever reason decided that their ministry would function with some level of autonomy, free from the propaganda of denominational politics. All in all, there are many reasons that a church may not be part of denominational affiliation.

Let me be clear, I am not supporting any Jim Jones type situation, but I am saying that there must be some liberty in God. For example, when I was a little girl, I heard a lot of talk about how no one other than those of certain denominations or christian lifestyles would be going to heaven. This kind of talk is hardly ever spoken with the fervor that I recall from back a few decades ago. This seems to have transitioned from an 'if you are aren't with us, your going to hell' mentality to an 'if you arent with some brand name denomination then you must be a treasonous defector of the faith'.  Pastors and churches run the gamut, everything from great to horrible can be found in the mix, but even that is relative to the needs of the people who attend that congregation. We should all be concerned when church becomes the mechanism to destroy people's lives and families, but aside from moral and literal destruction, we should hope and pray that a Christian church will teach true Christian principles regardless of denominational affiliation.

This makes me wonder if Christians are ready to, and truly able to, develop a justification for any type of entrepreneurship. After all, if anyone who is not submitting to the leadership of another is in error, then what does that say to the business entrepreneur? Or is  the entrepreneurial spirit only applicable in business and not appropriate for ministry?  Why is the Church so adamantly opposed to any congregation or leader who is not a part of a mainstream denominational affiliation?

Should all Christians give up their entrepreneurial dreams and conform to the job description and identity given to one by a corporation? Should all Christian leaders only define their call to the ministry according to the perimeters establish with in the denominational structure?

How many people do you know who are working for a corporation, but not fully using their abilities because of the restrictions of the job or the organization? Is that the mindset that one should have about a church or denomination?  Isnt Christianity truly about Liberation from Oppression? Isnt Christianity about being free to walk and live in the fullness of one's God given identity with out being socially obligated to the political and religious legalism? Arent we all accountable to God? As Christians arent we optimistic and hopeful that we can learn to walk in the Liberty of Salvation? If a Christian church is non-denominational does that make the church or the congregants any lesser as believers and followers of Jesus Christ? Did Jesus always go along with the religious order of his day?

Stand By Your Man - pt. 2

As the story unfolds in the media, I wonder if we are thinking with a heart of empathy. I say that because there are some concerns that I have about this woman who is standing by her man publicly.

Many of us would take the stance that it is not our business or that she knows what kind of man she has, but what about the part of the story that is not being told? What about the fact that the media is missing? Are we helpless to respond?

I bring these questions because there are many reasons why a woman stands by her man during scandal or even difficult times. Many times it is from years of being manipulated or abused (physically and/or psychologically). Many times it is because the woman thinks that it is the good Christian thing to do.....to silently pray for the situation and endure. Technorati Tags: Abuse, Emotions, Humanity, Marriage, EthicsWe dont know what Ms.Long has to deal with, but can be concerned that she may be silently crying out for help.

At first, I wondered how she could stand by her husband in the midst of the accusations. But when I saw the clip of the press conference, I thought of her standing by her man as a wife should. The more I thought about it, the more I thought about the pressure that must be on her to not betray this beloved leader in this time of crisis. I cant help but wonder if this has been the pressure that has caused her to turn her head in silence or to be so depressed herself that she was unable to be anything other than powerless to respond.

So many times, we see the public face and have no idea what a person is really living with in their own home. We have become so materialistic that we think of things in terms of monetary value, but many times we forget to investigate the real issues that are present with humanity.

The truth is that manipulative people manipulate. The wife would not be exempt from such manipulation. Abusers abuse and the wife would not be exempt from abuse. Even though it may have manifested in very different ways in the marriage, it is hard for me to believe that she is not a victim in some way. I may not be able to name it or to prove it, but she is hurting from this entire situation more than any of us will ever know.

Is she standing by her man because she loves him so much that she is determined to be there? Is she being forced or does she feel forced to stand by her husband for fear of creating enemies of church members who have their hearts fixed on believing that he is innocent? Is she just waiting for this to pass before she responds to this issue in their marriage? Is she another helpless victim of his behavior?

There are so many reasons why a woman stands by her man. Many of those reasons are honorable, but many of them are the result of psychological trauma, depression, fear....and the list can go on.

In the midst of it all, I would hope that there are those who are able to reach out to her and help her to find her way through this situation with a prayerful heart and the healing that will help her do what is best. After all, the marriage is a sacred covenant that is not be taken lightly, but every human being has a right to live in peace and safety. For whatever reason Ms. Long is standing by her man, I pray that she is able to find healing and restoration in her soul.

Stand By Your Man - THE WOMAN OF COVENANT

There is an age old adage that states, ‘behind every great man there is a great woman’. Most take this statement lightly, not realizing the words and actions of a woman can build up or tear down a man. Not only in his self-identity but in his function. Many men live out the words that the woman in their life has spoken over them – whether negative or positive. Many men draw closer or more distant based on the words and deeds of the woman in their life.

This afternoon when I returned from church, I noticed that someone had posted a press conference that Bishop Eddie Long gave following his church service. Aside from the fact that he made no mention of the charges that have been brought up against him, which I don’t find surprising, since any decent lawyer would advise such, what I did notice touched me more than anything else.

So, I am not going to write about any of the allegations, or the legality or the morality issues, or the church, but I am going to write about the woman in the covenant.

Behind him, standing silently was his wife. My heart goes out to her. And I have a great deal of respect for her, all at the same time. It is very easy for each of us to say what we would do if faced with such a situation but opinions are easy when the situation is not your reality.

My imagination is not large enough to formulate an idea of what this past week has been like for her. One can only speculate as to how shocked she has been by all that has been alleged. But what I can guess is that she has a lot of emotion behind this whole scandal.

I wonder how all of this affects her hopes and dreams and even her self-esteem. I wonder what thoughts are racing through her mind as she stands in front of the media, standing behind her husband as he speaks but doesn’t address the matter directly.

But as a wife, in the midst of it all, she was standing there with her husband. So many times when people get married they take their vows as simply some cute words to say to make their love legally legitimate. But when you look at the intent of those words, the hopes of a wedding day, can in no way prepare you for all that a lifetime of life will bring to you as a married couple.

I am always attentive to how a wife responds to the hard situations. It is truly amazing to me to see who stays in love with their man, even when things aren’t the best. It amazes me at who leaves at the slightest bit of discomfort in their marriage. To stand before God and proclaim your dedication to the covenant of marriage is not to be taken lightly. And you should be sure that you can live up to the promise of ‘for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer’.

Staying in a marriage is easy when everything is romantic and making your heart skip a beat, but staying in a marriage when things are tough and unimaginable and when the whole world knows too much about your spouse’s struggles is something.

Love and devotion don’t always go together. It can never be assumed that those who love you will stay devoted to you. On the wedding day, there is more hope than there is a guarantee. Putting trust in another person to guard your heart and your life is a huge step.

When you have put your trust and hopes and dreams in the hands of another person by making the commitment of marriage, you have shifted so many things in your own identity for the greater good of the union. To care for and consider the needs of your spouse become sacrificial expressions of love and devotion.

Every woman wants to be standing with her man when his greatness is being proclaimed, but few want to be there when things are scandalous. So when I see a wife standing behind her man, I cant help but wonder what is it that makes her have the ability to stand there. I think about the shame and anger and embarrassment that I would feel if it were I in that same situation. I can only image, because it isn’t me.

Marriage is so serious. No marriage is perfect. Neither of the two people in the marriage are perfect. When you place your heart in the hands of another person, you give away some of your ability to walk in the kinds of liberties that come with singleness. And when you say that you want to be with someone for the rest of your life, you can expect that all those days wont be great ones. Some days may very well be much worse than you could ever imagine. Plenty of women leave when times get hard or when the money is tight, but if you ask me this is the test of love’s endurance.


Many want the pretty dress and the expensive ring or the house, but do you really want the man that he is……. enough to say that you will stand by your man no matter what comes?