One of my favorite hymns is Loyalty to Christ
(but only when it is sung in a syncopated jubilee style - no judgments)
A person's behaviors in human to human relationships is a direct reflection of how one understands and perceives their personal relationship with God.
The past couple of weeks have been very different than normal. The Cover-19 has changed everything and every quickly. It has given me a lot of time for reflection.
Much of that reflection has been about my daddy and the ways he taught me to assess and respond to everyday life. I am a daddy's girl to the core. My father has been gone/transitioned out of his 'earth suit' as he called it, for almost 6 years now, and the adjustment has been challenging, but I have done my best to continue, as we all do with the loss and grief that is a part of life.
The last week or so, I have thought long and hard about the concept of loyalty. It is one of the components of HESED. Often translated as 'lovingkindness', but is actually much more, more inclusive, and one of those inclusions is Loyalty. God is way more loyal to us than we are to God. But as Christians, we work towards being in a stable and consistent relationship with God.
This morning, I woke up to pray and memories of a situation came to mind:
Once upon a time, I used obedience train and show German Shepherd dogs (GSD) for show in the categories of obedience and confirmation. Much of the time spent with the dogs were to get them ready for their purpose, to win in dog shows. All of our dogs were AKC registered for show and breeding........ But each was also the family companion pet.
What particularly came to my mind was this one dog. He was beautiful with great pedigree, had great potential to win every show that we entered him in. He had a beautiful gate and a wonderful coat of fur, his stature and stack were spectacular. He was a champion in the making. We had every expectation of him winning national competitions. And of course, as his handler and trainer, it would have put my name on the map in the industry. We put a lot of time and money into, not only the purchase of this puppy, but in raising him for his destiny. He was our family pet, but he was an investment in his own potential to be a winner. Together we could have conquered the dog show arena everywhere we entered competition.
The problem was that this dog did now see or value his potential the way that my daddy and I did, nor did he have any loyalty to being a member of our family. No matter the gifts that he was created with and the potential that he had been trained to reach, in his heart he saw himself as nothing more than a common stray. Often he would dig his way out of the fence and be gone, some times for days. My daddy would say, just put his food out at dinner time and he will come home to eat. Most of the time, this was the case, like clock work, he would run back to the yard like nothing had happened. But he would be dirty and have all kinds of things stuck in his beautiful coat of fur. I would clean him up so that he could come in the house, and take his place as a member of the family. Repeatedly he would run away while he was supposed to be outside in his fenced run (a fenced area specific to the need for exercise and muscle building common to large dogs, especially those who lived primarily inside). He would dig his way out, repeatedly we tried all kinds of ways to keep him from getting out of the fence, but where there was a will, there was a way. We would worry about his safety and search for him, with no success most of the time. We had to just have the resolve to wait for him to return home.
Then, one night there was a bad thunderstorm, with lots of rain and hail. We got in my daddy's van and drove around searching for this dog. We were worried that he would get hit by a car, or be shot by someone who was afraid of a dog who was simply taking shelter from the storm in their yard or on their porch. After hours of searching with no success, my daddy said there was not point in us being in danger by being out in the storm looking for this dog. My daddy reassured me that the dog would find its way home, as always. But what my daddy didn't tell me in that moment was that he was fed up with this stray mentality.
Just like my daddy had predicted, a few days later the dog showed back up, horribly dirty, but safe. But this time would be different. My daddy was prepared to sell the dog to a kennel, that wanted him because of all of his potential. This way, my daddy didn't lose all of his financial investment, as he would have if the dog had gotten killed during one if its run away adventures, and now those straying behaviors could be someone else's concern and not ours. The dog stayed gone so much and became such a headache that he really wasn't missed as a family pet, so much as a relief to no longer have to deal with the mentality of a stray.
Soon my daddy and I would pick out a new dog. We would have a new show dog in the house, one that appreciated the love and care of our home. One that would be a great companion, loyal and with great features for dog show competition and pedigree. This dog wanted to be a winner, this dog wanted to be a member of our family. And this dog would go on to win competitions, but in truth did not have the potential that the previous dog had, but did what the previous dog could not stay put long enough to do = win.
I said all of that to say, that with people, their behavior is a direct reflection of their relationship and loyalty to their faith in God. A person can't behave in a way that is not established in their mindset and self perception. Just like the dog that I once had, people can be spiritual strays and it will be manifested in the way they live their life, and the value that they place on the love and care that they receive from others. This void in a person can only be filled and healed by God's redemptive work in the life of the individual.
While we have this time of social distancing, lets take the time to evaluate and re-evaluate where we are putting our time and energy, and pray for spiritual strays. Know that it is not your job to keep them on track spiritually, because salvation is personal and only Jesus Christ can be their Savior and LORD.
Whether anyone goes with you are not, 'press toward the mark of the high calling.' - Live and Love like a WINNER. Keep the Romans 8 mentality.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
March 27, 2020
February 14, 2018
LOVE IS MIGHTY
The holiday that is celebrated as Valentine's Day is completely made up by the materialistic and capitalistic agenda. There was a historical martyr who was killed for secretly marrying Christian couples during a time when it was forbidden. And this is significant for several reasons, because I can see our culture drifting towards attempting to make it illegal once again for Christians to marry, but that truth is not what is discussed on the holiday celebrated by this name. The world likes the money making aspect of the holidays, but wants to remove the Christian significance. And this holiday is no different. Mostly started by greeting card companies and embraced by jewelry distributors because it stands to bring great profits to their companies by simply selling a desired concept - Love.
The truth of the matter is that love is much greater and stronger than any card, flowers, candy or jewelry can represent. Yes, we all like to receive gifts. Yes, we appreciate that someone thinks enough to invest in showing how much they care. There is no question about that at all.
Love is spiritual. Love is a spiritual act. Love is about positive impact in the life of another person.
Love is essentially at the core of the human ability to understand how much God considers humanity (John 3:16). God's love can be gentle and kind, but God's love can also be redirecting and correcting. This is not the way that the marketing world wants you to see God's love. The little fat angels with arrows are completely different from the might angels that move at God's command. In this same way, the world shrinks love down to a materialistic expression. When in truth everything about God's love is mighty.
In this way, when God becomes the binding force in a relationship it becomes unbreakable. (Eccl 4:9-12). To love and to be loved is a beautiful thing that allows one to flourish in every aspect of life. The companionship is different from any other type of interaction. Love that is grounded in God's Love is nourishing. The love that the world markets at its core is like a leech, always looking for opportunity to deplete and take more and more without regard for return. But when God is at the core of love, there is a freedom to give and be what the other person needs without any consideration for the return, because the entire experience is enveloped in mutuality.
Mutuality is not the same as equality. Men can handle physical things that a woman was not designed to handle, and women can handle physical things that a man was not designed to handle. Here again, the secular world attempts to rebrand what God created. Men and women are designed by God with specific intention, and there are some distinct differences both in physical characteristics and skill sets. For example: A man's body is not designed or equipped to bring a living breathing life into this world, but a woman's body is built receive the seed, to carry the developing life, deliver the person into this world, and to feed the new person until the person is able to eat from other food sources. God designs with intention.
Each gender brings something complementary to the characteristics of the other. This is by God's design. Men and women were never created to contradict each other nor to be in competition with each other, but were created to contrast each other in a way that draws emphasis that displays the other. Men and women were designed to compliment each other.
The secular world screams for equality, but God's economy of love was created for us to bring to the other person what they dont have within their own self. This is what physical attraction is about and is at the core necessity of intimacy. Society attempts to devalue what is the most priceless part of how God created male and female, with distinction. Yes, there are plenty of things that a man can do just as well as a women, and there are plenty of things that a woman can do just as well as a man. But, when it is all said and done, we were not created for sameness, so even in having some of the same skill sets and many features in common, we are different and where created for the purpose of being what the other needs, but does not contain within self.
We must be careful not to allow similar skill sets to appear to be signs of compatibility. Team members often have the same strengths and the same passion, but each also has to bring something that the other does not have or possess. This is what makes the team a well functioning unit and a couple is a well functioning unit, a team.
This is why it is important to be equally yoked, for the productivity of the team (2 Corinthians 6:14). Both spiritually and naturally, this is important. When your life is connected to the life of another person, you have to agree on which direction and for what you are working towards. Common sense would tell you that you cant have one person wanting to go North and the other person wanting to go South, because then all of their energy is depleted in the internal struggle of the team not going the same direction. When there is a tug of war in a relationship, sadly, someone wins. And this means that someone is losing ground on the direction they want to go towards. This changes what should be a win-win into a win-lose. This is why it is so important to attach your life to someone who is spiritually going the same direction as yourself. When both individuals are determined to go in the same direction, then there is an agreement of effort that become empowering, because both are using their strengths and skills to move forward. The team wins together.
Traditional marriage is attacked because it is evident how strong a well working unit is in accomplishing anything that the team sets its mind to accomplish. God created marriage that way, and God designed it so that LOVE is central to motivate the individuals to withstand the most challenging of times and situations to stay focused on the end result of the family.
Growing together in God is empowering. With the love of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Ghost, the Christian couple is unified and formidable .
Godly love has a ripple affect of blessings in the life of the Christian.
The truth of the matter is that love is much greater and stronger than any card, flowers, candy or jewelry can represent. Yes, we all like to receive gifts. Yes, we appreciate that someone thinks enough to invest in showing how much they care. There is no question about that at all.
Love is spiritual. Love is a spiritual act. Love is about positive impact in the life of another person.
Love is essentially at the core of the human ability to understand how much God considers humanity (John 3:16). God's love can be gentle and kind, but God's love can also be redirecting and correcting. This is not the way that the marketing world wants you to see God's love. The little fat angels with arrows are completely different from the might angels that move at God's command. In this same way, the world shrinks love down to a materialistic expression. When in truth everything about God's love is mighty.
In this way, when God becomes the binding force in a relationship it becomes unbreakable. (Eccl 4:9-12). To love and to be loved is a beautiful thing that allows one to flourish in every aspect of life. The companionship is different from any other type of interaction. Love that is grounded in God's Love is nourishing. The love that the world markets at its core is like a leech, always looking for opportunity to deplete and take more and more without regard for return. But when God is at the core of love, there is a freedom to give and be what the other person needs without any consideration for the return, because the entire experience is enveloped in mutuality.
Mutuality is not the same as equality. Men can handle physical things that a woman was not designed to handle, and women can handle physical things that a man was not designed to handle. Here again, the secular world attempts to rebrand what God created. Men and women are designed by God with specific intention, and there are some distinct differences both in physical characteristics and skill sets. For example: A man's body is not designed or equipped to bring a living breathing life into this world, but a woman's body is built receive the seed, to carry the developing life, deliver the person into this world, and to feed the new person until the person is able to eat from other food sources. God designs with intention.
Each gender brings something complementary to the characteristics of the other. This is by God's design. Men and women were never created to contradict each other nor to be in competition with each other, but were created to contrast each other in a way that draws emphasis that displays the other. Men and women were designed to compliment each other.
The secular world screams for equality, but God's economy of love was created for us to bring to the other person what they dont have within their own self. This is what physical attraction is about and is at the core necessity of intimacy. Society attempts to devalue what is the most priceless part of how God created male and female, with distinction. Yes, there are plenty of things that a man can do just as well as a women, and there are plenty of things that a woman can do just as well as a man. But, when it is all said and done, we were not created for sameness, so even in having some of the same skill sets and many features in common, we are different and where created for the purpose of being what the other needs, but does not contain within self.
We must be careful not to allow similar skill sets to appear to be signs of compatibility. Team members often have the same strengths and the same passion, but each also has to bring something that the other does not have or possess. This is what makes the team a well functioning unit and a couple is a well functioning unit, a team.
This is why it is important to be equally yoked, for the productivity of the team (2 Corinthians 6:14). Both spiritually and naturally, this is important. When your life is connected to the life of another person, you have to agree on which direction and for what you are working towards. Common sense would tell you that you cant have one person wanting to go North and the other person wanting to go South, because then all of their energy is depleted in the internal struggle of the team not going the same direction. When there is a tug of war in a relationship, sadly, someone wins. And this means that someone is losing ground on the direction they want to go towards. This changes what should be a win-win into a win-lose. This is why it is so important to attach your life to someone who is spiritually going the same direction as yourself. When both individuals are determined to go in the same direction, then there is an agreement of effort that become empowering, because both are using their strengths and skills to move forward. The team wins together.
Traditional marriage is attacked because it is evident how strong a well working unit is in accomplishing anything that the team sets its mind to accomplish. God created marriage that way, and God designed it so that LOVE is central to motivate the individuals to withstand the most challenging of times and situations to stay focused on the end result of the family.
Growing together in God is empowering. With the love of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Ghost, the Christian couple is unified and formidable .
Godly love has a ripple affect of blessings in the life of the Christian.
May 16, 2017
Success is Relative
Success is relative. Each person has their own idea of success and each person has their own measure for where one is in the journey to accomplishment. One of the biggest mistakes that anyone can make is to measure one's own level of accomplishment by someone else's accomplishments in a different area or field.
Most of the time when envy and jealous occur it is because of comparing apples to oranges, not comparing the same skills and the same types of success to each other. One thing that I have noticed is that people who are striving for their own excellence dont really have the mental energy for such comparisons anyway. The most critical opinions come from the most stagnant people. And when I say stagnant, I dont mean this to imply that the person or persons have not accomplished, but that they realize their own limitations and have some sort of regret because of how their own life choices created those limitations.
The choices that a person makes can totally shift the events of the rest of one's life. The truth is that we can not see into the future and at the time that we make the decision, we feel it is the best decision or the right decision based on the current information that we have at the time. And in most cases, there are ways to adjust or modify the decision, but some times the decisions that we make just have to walk out and live with, accepting what it brings with it.
A spirit filled Christian should always be prayerful about major decisions. In this, one must be willing to be obedient to what the Holy Spirit is guiding one to do. When it comes to living out one's calling, this really cant be determined by anyone else. We live in a world that says that you must get the approval of others, but in truth, people may not always understand or agree with your calling. This can be challenging for the person who needs the affirmation of others to feel comfortable taking certain steps in life. It is normal for each of us to want to be loved and accepted, but we may not always get this from the people that we look to provide it for us.
Finding the love and support that one needs to nourish one's human need for affirmation and a sense of community can be challenging for us all, and especially for those who dont fit in with mediocrity. So may people who have gifts and callings to go farther and higher in areas of success dont do so because of the need for a sense of community, and the fear of being isolated in the process of reaching for more within the context of one's goals.
The truth is that one can not truly flourish and reach the fullest potential of one's own goals until one is really ready to let go of the atmosphere of mediocrity. Getting uncomfortable is what pushes one forward, gives one the determination to proceed regardless of the opinions of those who are comfortable in mediocrity. Along the way, one begins to meet others who are on similar journeys, and this provides a more natural and organic sense of community, a community of people who can understand and affirm the journey.
Let's be honest, everyone is not built for the same types of success. And some dont have the drive to go out into the unknown with the courage that it takes to face what others cant imagine. Most of the time, the people who discourage others from working toward their vision do so because it is not their vision. You cant expect people to understand what they cant see or imagine. Anyone who does not understand the vision will have a hard time being a part of your journey towards accomplishing it.
It is my prayer that the God given vision will take you into the fullness of following the calling and the gifts that God has place in this time and space for a reason. I pray that God surround you with people who understand what it is like to step out of the routine and reach for all that God has for you. True happiness is living affirmed in what God created you to do and to be.
Most of the time when envy and jealous occur it is because of comparing apples to oranges, not comparing the same skills and the same types of success to each other. One thing that I have noticed is that people who are striving for their own excellence dont really have the mental energy for such comparisons anyway. The most critical opinions come from the most stagnant people. And when I say stagnant, I dont mean this to imply that the person or persons have not accomplished, but that they realize their own limitations and have some sort of regret because of how their own life choices created those limitations.
The choices that a person makes can totally shift the events of the rest of one's life. The truth is that we can not see into the future and at the time that we make the decision, we feel it is the best decision or the right decision based on the current information that we have at the time. And in most cases, there are ways to adjust or modify the decision, but some times the decisions that we make just have to walk out and live with, accepting what it brings with it.
A spirit filled Christian should always be prayerful about major decisions. In this, one must be willing to be obedient to what the Holy Spirit is guiding one to do. When it comes to living out one's calling, this really cant be determined by anyone else. We live in a world that says that you must get the approval of others, but in truth, people may not always understand or agree with your calling. This can be challenging for the person who needs the affirmation of others to feel comfortable taking certain steps in life. It is normal for each of us to want to be loved and accepted, but we may not always get this from the people that we look to provide it for us.
Finding the love and support that one needs to nourish one's human need for affirmation and a sense of community can be challenging for us all, and especially for those who dont fit in with mediocrity. So may people who have gifts and callings to go farther and higher in areas of success dont do so because of the need for a sense of community, and the fear of being isolated in the process of reaching for more within the context of one's goals.
The truth is that one can not truly flourish and reach the fullest potential of one's own goals until one is really ready to let go of the atmosphere of mediocrity. Getting uncomfortable is what pushes one forward, gives one the determination to proceed regardless of the opinions of those who are comfortable in mediocrity. Along the way, one begins to meet others who are on similar journeys, and this provides a more natural and organic sense of community, a community of people who can understand and affirm the journey.
Let's be honest, everyone is not built for the same types of success. And some dont have the drive to go out into the unknown with the courage that it takes to face what others cant imagine. Most of the time, the people who discourage others from working toward their vision do so because it is not their vision. You cant expect people to understand what they cant see or imagine. Anyone who does not understand the vision will have a hard time being a part of your journey towards accomplishing it.
It is my prayer that the God given vision will take you into the fullness of following the calling and the gifts that God has place in this time and space for a reason. I pray that God surround you with people who understand what it is like to step out of the routine and reach for all that God has for you. True happiness is living affirmed in what God created you to do and to be.
April 19, 2017
I Haven't Ask God For Enough
This evening I had a conversation with a friend who is a single parent like myself, and we were talking about the challenges of even meeting a potential companion. We are both single parents and our lives are built around the activities of church and our children. We attend a large church, that is probably about 85% or more married couples, and most of the singles are females.
In our conversation we both agreed we didnt have any brilliant ideas about where to add meeting new people to our lives. I mentioned some of the possible activities that we might explore to meet new people in general, activities that would be co-ed and not just full of more single women. We tossed around a few thoughts, but didnt come up with anything that would be an Aha! moment. So we left the conversation with continue on as usual as the stopping point of our discussion.
I went home thinking about all that I needed to do to settle in for the evening and to get ready for tomorrow. As I reflected on our conversation, in my mind, I went through what was wrong with the last person that I attempted to consider allowing into my life. I thought about all of the disappointment and the betrayal that was the package that this person brought with him. I had tossed and tossed in my mind about what was the problem, because after all he was saved. So a saved man would be trustworthy and dependable and full of integrity - or so I thought.
This is when it dawned on me. This was when I had the AHA! moment. I had been making an amateur's mistake in my prayer for a life companion. When I went down through all of the thoughts in my mind about what I didnt want to have to deal with at this phase in my life, it occurred to me that I was making the assumption that someone considering himself a Christian, meant that he was the whole package. I was absolutely wrong! This actually only meant that he had completed step one, in a life long, three step process.
What I was not asking for in my prayers was someone who was more than saved. No, I am not taking about his material gain, or his education level, or even what was in his past. But what I was missing was something extremely essential to his present state of being in his walk with Jesus Christ = Sanctification and being filled with the Holy Ghost. I have been around the church world of Pentecostals most of my life and these three works of Grace are considered essential for maintenance of a Christian Life of Holiness. I had forgotten, that everyone who considers to be Christian is not trying to become more like Christ. Some people are willing to take the just enough approach to having a relationship with Jesus Christ. I dont want someone in my life who is taking the minimalist approach to Christ.
It takes wanting to go to another level in relationship with Christ, to live Godly and walk away from the sinful nature, giving up the things in life that are contrary to a life of holiness. I am not claiming to be perfect, so I dont expect my future companion to be perfect, that would be unrealistic and self deception. But do want someone who is working on being a better man, and who in his heart, truly wants to live a life that is pleasing to God. For that to happen, he will have to want more of God, more of God's Holy Spirit. The person has to have a hunger for the things of God. The person has to realize that everything else that he has tried has not cured the uneasiness in their being. It is when the person has come to the conclusion that there has to be a better way, and be willing to give up everything that hasnt worked, for what God has to offer. He will have to have already come to the conclusion that what he is thirsty for can not be found in a sinful lifestyle, but only in the 'wells of salvation' where there is joy and peace beyond compare to anything that sin has to offer. He has to have a thirst for what is right. He has to want to be right with God. This is the place of no longer wanting to struggle to maintain a life of sin, a life that goes against God plan for LIFE.
All of the things that I dont want to deal with in a relationship, and especially in a future companion wont be a problem with a man who wanting to go in the same direction that I am going, and who has no interest in going backwards spiritually. So I now realize that I have been very minimal in my prayer. I don't just want someone in my life who is saved. I want a man in my life who is SAVED, SANCTIFIED, and FILLED with the HOLY GHOST. I want the whole package. I want God's best for my life.
In our conversation we both agreed we didnt have any brilliant ideas about where to add meeting new people to our lives. I mentioned some of the possible activities that we might explore to meet new people in general, activities that would be co-ed and not just full of more single women. We tossed around a few thoughts, but didnt come up with anything that would be an Aha! moment. So we left the conversation with continue on as usual as the stopping point of our discussion.
I went home thinking about all that I needed to do to settle in for the evening and to get ready for tomorrow. As I reflected on our conversation, in my mind, I went through what was wrong with the last person that I attempted to consider allowing into my life. I thought about all of the disappointment and the betrayal that was the package that this person brought with him. I had tossed and tossed in my mind about what was the problem, because after all he was saved. So a saved man would be trustworthy and dependable and full of integrity - or so I thought.
This is when it dawned on me. This was when I had the AHA! moment. I had been making an amateur's mistake in my prayer for a life companion. When I went down through all of the thoughts in my mind about what I didnt want to have to deal with at this phase in my life, it occurred to me that I was making the assumption that someone considering himself a Christian, meant that he was the whole package. I was absolutely wrong! This actually only meant that he had completed step one, in a life long, three step process.
What I was not asking for in my prayers was someone who was more than saved. No, I am not taking about his material gain, or his education level, or even what was in his past. But what I was missing was something extremely essential to his present state of being in his walk with Jesus Christ = Sanctification and being filled with the Holy Ghost. I have been around the church world of Pentecostals most of my life and these three works of Grace are considered essential for maintenance of a Christian Life of Holiness. I had forgotten, that everyone who considers to be Christian is not trying to become more like Christ. Some people are willing to take the just enough approach to having a relationship with Jesus Christ. I dont want someone in my life who is taking the minimalist approach to Christ.
It takes wanting to go to another level in relationship with Christ, to live Godly and walk away from the sinful nature, giving up the things in life that are contrary to a life of holiness. I am not claiming to be perfect, so I dont expect my future companion to be perfect, that would be unrealistic and self deception. But do want someone who is working on being a better man, and who in his heart, truly wants to live a life that is pleasing to God. For that to happen, he will have to want more of God, more of God's Holy Spirit. The person has to have a hunger for the things of God. The person has to realize that everything else that he has tried has not cured the uneasiness in their being. It is when the person has come to the conclusion that there has to be a better way, and be willing to give up everything that hasnt worked, for what God has to offer. He will have to have already come to the conclusion that what he is thirsty for can not be found in a sinful lifestyle, but only in the 'wells of salvation' where there is joy and peace beyond compare to anything that sin has to offer. He has to have a thirst for what is right. He has to want to be right with God. This is the place of no longer wanting to struggle to maintain a life of sin, a life that goes against God plan for LIFE.
All of the things that I dont want to deal with in a relationship, and especially in a future companion wont be a problem with a man who wanting to go in the same direction that I am going, and who has no interest in going backwards spiritually. So I now realize that I have been very minimal in my prayer. I don't just want someone in my life who is saved. I want a man in my life who is SAVED, SANCTIFIED, and FILLED with the HOLY GHOST. I want the whole package. I want God's best for my life.
September 3, 2011
Humanization: Part 1 ( Inter-racial Relationships)
About a decade ago, when I was in seminary, a dear professor stated to the class that the best understanding of inter-racial relationships could be found in the Disney movie, "Beauty and the Beast". As I listened, I understood what he was saying, but now, a decade later, I get it. I now realize that I wasn't fully able to grasp the concept. I saw it no deeper than the socialization aspect. But now I get the impressions of the psyche that are manifested in the concept that was being presented.
What caused my further understanding has been a reflective re-reading of "Pedagogy of the Oppressed" by Paulo Freire. Amazingly this book dissects some basic experiences in terms of their affect on the psychological thought process of a person. So by taking the concepts presented in this book and framing my understanding of why inter-racial relationships are important for so many in this day and age. I get it.
As a 'free spirit' who does not look kindly on attempts to further oppress me, I now understand all the more the reasons why I have never been that interested in inter-racial dating as a choice for myself. I guess I could slightly correct that statement, depending on what you consider inter-racial, since I have dated persons other than African American. Anyone who knows me personally will affirm that I am truly my own person. That is not to say that I have not had my own battles with being oppressed because I have, and on so many levels. But at this point in my life, I am enjoying the freedom to embrace who I am, both internally and externally. And in some ways, I realize that I am still working to define my own humanity in this world that sets limitations on individuals not only on the basis of race, but also based on gender.
Ok, so since my point here is not to write about myself, I must return to my topic. According to Freire, oppression is grounded in dehumanization. Seeing one's self as less than human is the ground work that must take place for all parties involved to agree to the situation of being oppressed. With that in mind, upon looking at the stereotypes that people of the African diaspora live with on a daily basis, it only makes sense that some would seek to be viewed on a higher level of humanity.
After all, most of the times when we leave a relationship behind, it is about the denial of one's own humanity. When you begin to realize that one is being treated in a dehumanizing way, that is when one begins to look for the exit door to the situation. I would further argue, that those who remain in dehumanizing situations do so because they are not able to fully embrace or affirm their own humanity. This is also the same reason that an individual who treats a person of a different race better than they would consider someone of their own race as deserving to be treated. Somewhere in their mind, they realize the need to elevate their own sense of humanity, but at the same time, they are still willing to deny another person the same need to be appreciated beyond the status of sub-human.
When I was younger, I would always hear people talk about the people, back then it was mostly men, who chose to date outside of their race, as attempting to 'to socially upgrade'. But at this point in my life, I would argue that it is an attempt to be viewed as one who has done more than evolved, but who has faced the challenges of the psyche to embrace one's own humanity. It is the refusal to be seen as anything less than human. It is the denial to accept the oppressive forces of being dehumanized. It is the internal self awareness to see one's self as deserving all that is humanly possible in life and love.
So, you might ask, is inter-racial dating necessary for all of that? No, but for some people, it is the manifestation of their internal awareness that they need to be view as fully human with all of the life and breath that comes from living as one who is free to exist instead of one who has to ask the world to pardon their being in the world. It is un-apologetic about the right to have the life and companionship of a fellow HUMAN-being regardless of the outer skin. It is so much more than just the meshing of cultural differences, it is about the embracing of all that it means to live and love and to do so regardless of race or ethnic background.
Those who oppose inter-racial relationships do so because they see one of the races involved as less deserving of what the other race has to offer. And they protest the infiltration into their own race for fear that it will dehumanize by association. It is the struggle to continue to oppression of others by way of feeling oppressed in one's own being.
Lastly, I would argue, that when one fully becomes aware of who they are attracted to and why, then it will never be a struggle to embrace one's own humanity, and therefore the individual can be free to love based on the connections of the human spirit and not just because of the outward skin.
Relationships are about embracing the humanity of each other with mutual respect and admiration. Relationships are about BEING human together and to each other. Love is about acceptance- as is- but with the growing potential to become better together. When your ambitions within the relationship fully manifest the humanity of the other person, then both individuals can find the freedom to love. And love definitely transcends race, creed or national origin.
What caused my further understanding has been a reflective re-reading of "Pedagogy of the Oppressed" by Paulo Freire. Amazingly this book dissects some basic experiences in terms of their affect on the psychological thought process of a person. So by taking the concepts presented in this book and framing my understanding of why inter-racial relationships are important for so many in this day and age. I get it.
As a 'free spirit' who does not look kindly on attempts to further oppress me, I now understand all the more the reasons why I have never been that interested in inter-racial dating as a choice for myself. I guess I could slightly correct that statement, depending on what you consider inter-racial, since I have dated persons other than African American. Anyone who knows me personally will affirm that I am truly my own person. That is not to say that I have not had my own battles with being oppressed because I have, and on so many levels. But at this point in my life, I am enjoying the freedom to embrace who I am, both internally and externally. And in some ways, I realize that I am still working to define my own humanity in this world that sets limitations on individuals not only on the basis of race, but also based on gender.
Ok, so since my point here is not to write about myself, I must return to my topic. According to Freire, oppression is grounded in dehumanization. Seeing one's self as less than human is the ground work that must take place for all parties involved to agree to the situation of being oppressed. With that in mind, upon looking at the stereotypes that people of the African diaspora live with on a daily basis, it only makes sense that some would seek to be viewed on a higher level of humanity.
After all, most of the times when we leave a relationship behind, it is about the denial of one's own humanity. When you begin to realize that one is being treated in a dehumanizing way, that is when one begins to look for the exit door to the situation. I would further argue, that those who remain in dehumanizing situations do so because they are not able to fully embrace or affirm their own humanity. This is also the same reason that an individual who treats a person of a different race better than they would consider someone of their own race as deserving to be treated. Somewhere in their mind, they realize the need to elevate their own sense of humanity, but at the same time, they are still willing to deny another person the same need to be appreciated beyond the status of sub-human.
When I was younger, I would always hear people talk about the people, back then it was mostly men, who chose to date outside of their race, as attempting to 'to socially upgrade'. But at this point in my life, I would argue that it is an attempt to be viewed as one who has done more than evolved, but who has faced the challenges of the psyche to embrace one's own humanity. It is the refusal to be seen as anything less than human. It is the denial to accept the oppressive forces of being dehumanized. It is the internal self awareness to see one's self as deserving all that is humanly possible in life and love.
So, you might ask, is inter-racial dating necessary for all of that? No, but for some people, it is the manifestation of their internal awareness that they need to be view as fully human with all of the life and breath that comes from living as one who is free to exist instead of one who has to ask the world to pardon their being in the world. It is un-apologetic about the right to have the life and companionship of a fellow HUMAN-being regardless of the outer skin. It is so much more than just the meshing of cultural differences, it is about the embracing of all that it means to live and love and to do so regardless of race or ethnic background.
Those who oppose inter-racial relationships do so because they see one of the races involved as less deserving of what the other race has to offer. And they protest the infiltration into their own race for fear that it will dehumanize by association. It is the struggle to continue to oppression of others by way of feeling oppressed in one's own being.
Lastly, I would argue, that when one fully becomes aware of who they are attracted to and why, then it will never be a struggle to embrace one's own humanity, and therefore the individual can be free to love based on the connections of the human spirit and not just because of the outward skin.
Relationships are about embracing the humanity of each other with mutual respect and admiration. Relationships are about BEING human together and to each other. Love is about acceptance- as is- but with the growing potential to become better together. When your ambitions within the relationship fully manifest the humanity of the other person, then both individuals can find the freedom to love. And love definitely transcends race, creed or national origin.
May 10, 2011
Behold The Bride-Groom Cometh!!!!
Have you ever been so familiar with something that you really didn’t look at it with close inspection? Have you ever had that moment when you saw something in a different light, and then wondered why you had never seen it that way before?
Well I had one of those moments today. I am sure that some of my readers will have the same level of excitement about this as I, and I am sure that some will not like it at all. But to all, I write with peace and grace.
My entire life, being raised in a Pentecostal–Holiness church, I heard about the hope of believers in the return of Jesus Christ for the Church. The Church is understood to be the Bride of Christ. Matthew 25:6 stirred up expectation in every believer.
At the same time, it was completely understood that leadership in ministry was for men only. There was no place for women in ordained leadership. Women were encouraged and even expected to work tirelessly for the ministry with their gifts and talents, but only in supporting role capacities.
There was no denying that women could handle most of the task that take place in the local church, doing everything from cooking meals to serving meals, to cleaning after the meals were finished, to preparing the programs, ushering and passing out the programs, and being on the program, to designing the choir robes to singing in the choir in the choir robes.
As a matter of fact, when the church observed the sacrament of communion, in the days long before the prepackaged communion portions, it was, and still is, the women who prepare the sacred table for the Lord’s Supper. As the service transitioned to the observance of the Holy Sacrament of Communion, it was a woman, a Mother of the Church, who read I Corinthians 11: 23-34. While she was reading, the women did everything that needed to be done during this sacred time of the service. But when it was actually time to serve the communion to the congregation, in my church, this could only be done by an ordained elder and only men were ordained.
As a child, I never gave this reality much thought. But as I got into my early twenties, the analytical side of my being started to develop. It was then that I began to wonder why it was that women could prepare the food for before and after the service and touch everybody’s plate in serving food to church members, friends, and family. But suddenly when we were observing the most sacred piece of cracker and grape juice, suddenly the women who had put it on the plate and in the little cups were not allowed to serve it to the congregation of believers – the same believers that they would serve chicken dinners to any other time.
A decade later I would learn about the debate between substantiation and transubstantiation. Ok, fine, but my denomination’s stance on the Eucharist is that of Zwingli, that the elements of the table do not change in essence but symbolize the Body and Blood of Christ. So what does gender really have to do with who serves the Last Supper to the congregation?
Well moving right along,------- I began work to wrap my brain around how God really felt about women. Ended up getting a Liberal Arts degree in Religious Studies from taking classes just to learn and understand about God and Religion. I know that a lot of men are chauvinists, some know they are and others have no idea that they are, but still the truth remains. I just don’t believe that God is a chauvinist.
Now years after graduate school (seminary), having read a lot of theological works and a few on feminist theology, and a few on liberation theology, I still in my own self wonder why the issue of women in ministry is such a hard thing for the church, not just my denomination, but for many denominations to accept?
At the same time, that women are being told that they now can excel in the corporate world, the church is saying that you shouldn’t do that in an ecclesiastical setting. Why does the church encourage women to excel at mediocrity? I kept wondering why was God calling women to the ministry, only to have them face being ostracized by many Christian denominations. In my own struggle to understand, I kept wondering why the church treated all women as if they were equal. I mean, every woman is not called to leadership in the church, just as every woman is not called to run a secular corporation, every woman is not a great cook, every woman is not a great seamstress, etc.
Each woman has her own unique gifts and talents. Women vary just as much as everything else n God’s creation. It is dehumanizing to assume that there is no difference or distinction on how God created each woman unique and to God’s own liking. This would be the reason that wives are not interchangeable. Why have so many women become ecclesiastically docile? Hear me when I say being respectful and docile are two completely different things. A woman is to submit to her own husband, not every man in the world. Seriously, who wants their wife or daughter obeying the thoughts of any and every man? That is a dangerous thought process at best.
I have watched so many women who are movers and shakers in their career become mousy and ashamed in a church setting. Which manifestation is the truly God given identity, and what would God have them use their ability to accomplish for the kingdom of God, if they were liberated to serve God to full capacity?
I am sure by now, if you know your bible, you have your list of scriptures ready to reply to what I am saying…… I know them all. I was raised hearing them.
Ok, so you are asking, if I know about the scriptures concerning women being silent in church, then what is the point of my writing. Glad you asked. Now I can tell you.
First of all, I am not calling for women to disrupt the worship service of their local church. But if you truly believed that women should be silent in church, why are they allowed to do ANYTHING during the service or in the sanctuary for that matter? If you want women to be silent in church, then why are they singing in your choir and on your praise team? Last I heard, you cant sing silently…….and no one has ever mentioned us all going outside when it was time for a woman to sing. And what about the announcements? In most churches, it is a woman who reads the announcements. So shouldn’t she be reading them silently?
The truth is that both in the world and in the church, it takes both men and women working together to accomplish the furtherance of the Gospel. There are certain things that each of us does well regardless of gender.
But let us future forward to the day when Christ will return for the Church. It is like this – on the wedding day the bride must be ready for the groom. We all know this in the natural. The bible gives us some insight into the expectations for the Bride of Christ, ‘without spot or wrinkle’. The Church must not only be well prepared for the return of Christ, but there is a lot of attention given to detail. Everything is prepared.
I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before now. I guess it was not time…. I am sure that this understanding is all about timing, not my timing but God’s timing.
As a child is growing up, a lot of people impart into the growing life and mind. The mother or grandmother or some mother figure is the first teacher that a child has in the world. Both males and females learn from her. As a female approaches the age of marriage, some of the knowledge she will need must come from a female in her life. Both men and women have been a part of her learning and preparation throughout life. But on the wedding day, a lot of preparation that has taken place over time is manifested in the moment that the bride is presented to the groom. Most of that preparation was done long in advance of that actual wedding day, but all comes together on the wedding day.
As the Bride of Christ is getting ready to be joined with Christ at his return, everything must be made ready. The bride must be ready, and a man can’t dress a bride. Not even the father of the bride, who has protected her from all danger, participates in her dressing for the wedding. When she is ready, the father will present her to the groom. But the father leaves the preparation and dressing of the bride to women. So why wouldn’t the Almighty God entrust women with preparing the Bride of Christ.
It takes a woman to see the revealed body and to prepare it and adorn it to meet the groom. A women, who is attentive to every little wrinkle that might go un-noticed, or to find the spot that might be hidden in an un-obvious location. It takes a woman to give the attention to detail need to make sure that everything is as best as it can be for the presentation of the Bride to her Groom.
The church is made up of both men and women, serving and growing in relationship with God. As we approach the time that the Bride of Christ but be prepared to meet Him when He come, God is selecting those whom God has equipped for the last attention to details as needed. Women in Ministry have been called by God to dress the Bride of Christ. Let us make ready for soon we shall hear, with expectation the proclamation, “Behold the Bride-Groom cometh”.
October 6, 2010
Tried in the Fire
As I was watching the nightly news on this week, I was frustrated to see a story about a small community in Tennessee. It was hours away from there area where I was born and raised, but yet it was in my home state. So I became a bit invested in the story before I even understood the extent to which the contents of the news story would frustrate me.
Home Burns, Firefighters Refuse to Respond
What immediately came to my mind was the greatest commandment (Matthew 22:36-40). It saddens me to see what has become of our treatment of each other in this country. Everything boils down to the almighty dollar. Being a capitalist country has almost completely alleviated the heart of so many Americans.
This may sound like a harsh observation, but ask yourself this, 'how in the world could those trained and equipped to fight fires be so callus as to stand by knowing that a family's home is burning down and not do anything about it over $75 worth of fire protection? I do understand the dynamics of the county budget and such, but this seems almost mafia in spirit. With any law there is the spirit of the law and the letter of the law. And I would dare guess that this fee was set in place as a way to finance the service, but it has now become the same service that was denied to someone in need.
In this small town, I cant image what makes others in the community able to watch a friend and a neighbor's home burn to the ground based on some principle that is not grounded in Christian love. What happened to the days when we helped our neighbors build and maintain? There is this image in my mind of the neighbors coming with buckets and passing them to each other to reach the flames in a joint effort to put out the fire. There was a time when this seemed like just the right thing to do. There is no mention of the people in the neighborhood standing up to the challenge to help put out the fire, even though the local firefighters wouldnt fight the fire. So in my mind, the neighbors are just as much of a concern as the issue with the firefighters. Even if the firefighters refused to work to put out the fire over the $75 fee, why weren't the neighbors willing to pitch in form a plan of action and work to save the home? Who wants neighbors that will stand by and let your home burn down without at least making some neighborly effort?
As a Christian nation, are we not disturbed to know that we treat each other this way? This family not only lost their home, but they lost family heirlooms and family history. When do we begin to re-evaluate what it is that we say that we believe? When do we stand up for what is right?
Home Burns, Firefighters Refuse to Respond
What immediately came to my mind was the greatest commandment (Matthew 22:36-40). It saddens me to see what has become of our treatment of each other in this country. Everything boils down to the almighty dollar. Being a capitalist country has almost completely alleviated the heart of so many Americans.
This may sound like a harsh observation, but ask yourself this, 'how in the world could those trained and equipped to fight fires be so callus as to stand by knowing that a family's home is burning down and not do anything about it over $75 worth of fire protection? I do understand the dynamics of the county budget and such, but this seems almost mafia in spirit. With any law there is the spirit of the law and the letter of the law. And I would dare guess that this fee was set in place as a way to finance the service, but it has now become the same service that was denied to someone in need.
In this small town, I cant image what makes others in the community able to watch a friend and a neighbor's home burn to the ground based on some principle that is not grounded in Christian love. What happened to the days when we helped our neighbors build and maintain? There is this image in my mind of the neighbors coming with buckets and passing them to each other to reach the flames in a joint effort to put out the fire. There was a time when this seemed like just the right thing to do. There is no mention of the people in the neighborhood standing up to the challenge to help put out the fire, even though the local firefighters wouldnt fight the fire. So in my mind, the neighbors are just as much of a concern as the issue with the firefighters. Even if the firefighters refused to work to put out the fire over the $75 fee, why weren't the neighbors willing to pitch in form a plan of action and work to save the home? Who wants neighbors that will stand by and let your home burn down without at least making some neighborly effort?
As a Christian nation, are we not disturbed to know that we treat each other this way? This family not only lost their home, but they lost family heirlooms and family history. When do we begin to re-evaluate what it is that we say that we believe? When do we stand up for what is right?
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