I Haven't Ask God For Enough

This evening I had a conversation with a friend who is a single parent like myself, and we were talking about the challenges of even meeting a potential companion. We are both single parents and our lives are built around the activities of church and our children.  We attend a large church, that is probably about 85% or more married couples, and most of the singles are females.

In our conversation we both agreed we didnt have any brilliant ideas about where to add meeting new people to our lives. I mentioned some of the possible activities that we might explore to meet new people in general, activities that would be co-ed and not just full of more single women. We tossed around a few thoughts, but didnt come up with anything that would be an Aha! moment.   So we left the conversation with continue on as usual as the stopping point of our discussion.

I went home thinking about all that I needed to do to settle in for the evening and to get ready for tomorrow. As I reflected on our conversation, in my mind, I went through what was wrong with the last person that I attempted to consider allowing into my life. I thought about all of the disappointment and the betrayal that was the package that this person brought with him. I had tossed and tossed in my mind about what was the problem, because after all he was saved. So a saved man would be trustworthy and dependable and full of integrity - or so I thought.

This is when it dawned on me. This was when I had the AHA! moment. I had been making an amateur's mistake in my prayer for a life companion. When I went down through all of the thoughts in my mind about what I didnt want to have to deal with at this phase in my life, it occurred to me that I was making the assumption that someone considering himself a Christian, meant that he was the whole package. I was absolutely wrong!  This actually only meant that he had completed step one, in a life long, three step process.
What I was not asking for in my prayers was someone who was more than saved. No, I am not taking about his material gain, or his education level, or even what was in his past.  But what I was missing was something extremely essential to his present state of being in his walk with Jesus Christ = Sanctification and being filled with the Holy Ghost.  I have been around the church world of Pentecostals most of my life and these three works of Grace are considered essential for maintenance of a Christian Life of Holiness. I had forgotten, that everyone who considers to be Christian is not trying to become more like Christ. Some people are willing to take the just enough approach to having a relationship with Jesus Christ. I dont want someone in my life who is taking the minimalist approach to Christ.

It takes wanting to go to another level in relationship with Christ, to live Godly and walk away from the sinful nature, giving up the things in life that are contrary to a life of holiness. I am not claiming to be perfect, so I dont expect my future companion to be perfect, that would be unrealistic and self deception.  But do want someone who is working on being a better man, and who in his heart, truly wants to live a life that is pleasing to God.  For that to happen, he will have to want more of God, more of God's Holy Spirit. The person has to have a hunger for the things of God. The person has to realize that everything else that he has tried has not cured the uneasiness in their being.  It is when the person has come to the conclusion that there has to be a better way, and be willing to give up everything that hasnt worked, for what God has to offer. He will have to have already come to the conclusion that what he is thirsty for can not be found in a sinful lifestyle, but only in the 'wells of salvation' where there is joy and peace beyond compare to anything that sin has to offer. He has to have a thirst for what is right. He has to want to be right with God.  This is the place of no longer wanting to struggle to maintain a life of sin, a life that goes against God plan for LIFE.

All of the things that I dont want to deal with in a relationship, and especially in a future companion wont be a problem with a man who wanting to go in the same direction that I am going, and who has no interest in going backwards spiritually.  So I now realize that I have been very minimal in my prayer. I don't just want someone in my life who is saved. I want a man in my life who is SAVED, SANCTIFIED, and FILLED  with the HOLY GHOST.  I want the whole package. I want God's best for my life.

SHAME

 A few days ago, I was thinking about how is it that some people can come before God with a sense of entitlement and arrogance ... and other people can come before God with humility and appreciation?  In my thought process, I began to think about my grandmother.  When we were children and would do something obviously with the wrong intentions, she would say, "have you no shame?" 

That was the cue to do some self reflection, and correct the behavior... Not just at that moment, but from that moment forward. 

When we look at so many of the events that are taking place with those closest to us, and as far reaching as the national platforms - the question is still a valid one to ask.  Police have no shame in killing both the incident and the guilty without due process of the legal system, males procreating but not fathering their children, people walking around all day -out in public- in pajamas or with their underwear on display, broadcasting intimate life details on social media..... And on and on and on.

There is a lack of connection to what is right and good. Our society has become accustomed to anything and everything. The standards are so relaxed now, that even the most basic requirements seem like too much to ask. Everyone believes that they are a good person, because behavior should not be the measure of one's character. It is as if good and evil are now void of meaning.  That is how the decline of morality has seeped in to the norm of our culture. The inability to acknowledge anything, is in essence a way to affirm everything.  It doesn't work that way. 

Acknowledging one's own sinful nature is even more challenging under these terms. Because under these terms, there really is no sin, just misinterpretation.  So it is much easier to redefine everything constantly and conveniently than to call things wrong or right according to biblical standards.  It is much easier to point out the flaws in the character of others than it is to be introspective and to acknowledge one's own flaws.  It is larger than claiming or owning an act or event of sin, but the humiliation of knowing the lack of one's own moral accountability. Example: A married Christian protesting gay marriage, but being unfaithful in one's own heterosexual marriage.  {My grandmother would say, "two wrongs don't make a right.}  It is a hurtful feeling to humiliate yourself to yourself. This is when you know that you are wrong, even if no one else knows or identifies it. 

Have you no shame? = Are you not able to hold yourself accountable for what you know is right?  

The kind of shame that leads a sinner to repentance is the ability to stand in awe of God's completeness of being (Wholeness/Holiness), and comparing one's inferior state of being (sinful nature).  I use the word 'ability' because the sinful nature brings with it arrogance and a sense of self righteousness, which has to be shattered before one can realize the need to change.  It is hard to be humiliated, especially internally.  Shame is not about being humiliated by the awareness that others see your wrong, but it  is the internal dialogue that happens within self.  When the error of your ways become so overpowering that change is absolutely necessary, this is when one is ready to surrender to God. Conviction is being convinced that wrong was done. Repentance is the determination to change from a nature of wrong-being, intentionally going in the right direction - in mindset, intention and deed. 

When a person has no shame:  wanting the results of what is right, but lacking the desire to be or do right.  It is wanting the reward without the effort.  This leads to behaviors that lack integrity. The lack of integrity is also a lack of shame. 

Sanctification is the intentional effort to live a life separated from sin, it is biblically based integrity. It does not imply perfection, but intention.  The greater the intention, the more probable the success of the effort. It is an effort that becomes a lifestyle. The more it is practiced, it becomes the norm. Each day, each individual has to make a conscious effort to make sin the norm or to make sanctification the norm. Each day, the effort will become easier to maintain the course, and this is why it is important to remain intentional. 

The nature of humanity is such that in most, if not all cases, the change of behavior will not come until one's desire to be right has become solidified.  Forced change can take place due to social norms or even penal systems, but a change of heart has to happen from within, before the individual is really capable of true repentance.  For example,  a child can hit another child for no reason and an adult require a verbal apology to be given. The child can learn when it is appropriate to say the words, but never have any intention to stop hitting the other child. But once the child determines that he or she does not want to hit others for no reason, the behavior will shift, not only to avoid hitting others intentionally, but also making  the effort to not hit other unintentionally.   That is the formation of character. 

So when we have expectations of God, but no desire to change -  "Have we no shame?" 

Should Christians Be Entrepreneurs?

For those of you who know me, this may truly seem to be a rhetorical question, but bear with me as I work through this thought.

Just as an entrepreneur, to be legitimate, must have the proper credentials to work in a geographic region or state, so does any corporation that would hire someone to do the exact same job as an employee of that particular company. In the corporate setting the individual may or may not need to have a license to perform that job. There are many aspects to being an entrepreneur that differ from being a corporate employee, more than I actually care to go into at this time. But it is safe to say that 'it cost to be the boss'. To be an entrepreneur, you have to be willing to invest in your own success or failure.

Now that being said, there are all kinds of people who are capable of performing a specific task or job, who lacks proper training or licensure (what some would call 'boot-leg'). But to truly be defined as an entrepreneur some steps had to be taken to operate or function as a business. For example, as a licensed cosmetologist, I have a license from the state that lets anyone know that I have completed to proper training and met the requirements to have my name on that license. With that license, I have the choice to set up shop for myself or to find a place to work for a business that will allow me to function within the boundaries of my licensure.

As I pondered my heartfelt theological stance on a statement that a friend made, I had to formulate what my stance was on this ideology. Not just as one applicable to business practices, but also as it applies to ministry. It began with hearing someone, who is an entrepreneur repeat what her pastor says regarding those who decide to found or pastor a non-denominational church.  The person I was speaking with made the statement, 'a non-denominational church means they dont want to obey leadership'.

My first instinct was to defend the misconception that all non-denominational churches are not in fellowship with other like-minded ministries/organizations and therefore accountable to that organizations structure. I do realize that most people have been lead to believe that non-denominational churches are all part of some pseudo-christian gypsy like cult.  But the truth is that leaders and churches, do at times, liberate themselves from mainstream denominational obligations for a number of reasons. This does not mean that their ministry is illegitimate or demonic. 

Are there cults out there? Yes.  Are there churches who severed ties with their denomination because they had issues with a  or some of the leaders? Yes.  And there are those who for what ever reason decided that their ministry would function with some level of autonomy, free from the propaganda of denominational politics. All in all, there are many reasons that a church may not be part of denominational affiliation.

Let me be clear, I am not supporting any Jim Jones type situation, but I am saying that there must be some liberty in God. For example, when I was a little girl, I heard a lot of talk about how no one other than those of certain denominations or christian lifestyles would be going to heaven. This kind of talk is hardly ever spoken with the fervor that I recall from back a few decades ago. This seems to have transitioned from an 'if you are aren't with us, your going to hell' mentality to an 'if you arent with some brand name denomination then you must be a treasonous defector of the faith'.  Pastors and churches run the gamut, everything from great to horrible can be found in the mix, but even that is relative to the needs of the people who attend that congregation. We should all be concerned when church becomes the mechanism to destroy people's lives and families, but aside from moral and literal destruction, we should hope and pray that a Christian church will teach true Christian principles regardless of denominational affiliation.

This makes me wonder if Christians are ready to, and truly able to, develop a justification for any type of entrepreneurship. After all, if anyone who is not submitting to the leadership of another is in error, then what does that say to the business entrepreneur? Or is  the entrepreneurial spirit only applicable in business and not appropriate for ministry?  Why is the Church so adamantly opposed to any congregation or leader who is not a part of a mainstream denominational affiliation?

Should all Christians give up their entrepreneurial dreams and conform to the job description and identity given to one by a corporation? Should all Christian leaders only define their call to the ministry according to the perimeters establish with in the denominational structure?

How many people do you know who are working for a corporation, but not fully using their abilities because of the restrictions of the job or the organization? Is that the mindset that one should have about a church or denomination?  Isnt Christianity truly about Liberation from Oppression? Isnt Christianity about being free to walk and live in the fullness of one's God given identity with out being socially obligated to the political and religious legalism? Arent we all accountable to God? As Christians arent we optimistic and hopeful that we can learn to walk in the Liberty of Salvation? If a Christian church is non-denominational does that make the church or the congregants any lesser as believers and followers of Jesus Christ? Did Jesus always go along with the religious order of his day?