In the story of David and Bathsheba, we have a very interesting person who seems to get the short end of the situation. But I often wonder if this is the only way to look at this portion of text. I say that because Uriah the Hittite represents one of my greatest fears.
Before I explain my views on this portion of text, let me give just a bit of background information about myself. My father had 5 brothers. I lived in the house with my dad and my oldest male cousin who was 12 years older than myself. So you can say almost all of my childhood was one of feeling very protected, affirmed, and loved. I was my dad's only child so I was destined to be treated a certain way, better known as spoiled. With this many men in my childhood I was destined to not only get most anything that I wanted, because if one uncle said no, another uncle would either say yes, or find some way to compensate by offering something else that I might want. For example, if one uncle would not give me ice cream from the gas station up the street, all I had to do was to come back and make an announcement that I didnt get any ice cream. This would be followed by the men having conversation about why I was denied ice cream or what ever it was that I wanted. And not much time would pass before another uncle would invite me to go for a ride with him, only to end up at Kay's Ice Cream shop which had a whole bunch of flavors on display for me to choose from. This understanding of how men treat those they care for and love has framed my understanding of relationships in general. It has also set the bar for how I measure the behavior of men as an adult.
Growing up in a small town, during a time when people actually sat around and communicated with each other gave me a lot of insight from the perspectives of my aunts while they were stringing and breaking green beans or something. And many times, I got to hear the conversations (while I was supposed to be playing in the yard and not listening) of my dad and his brothers talking about community issues, political events, but also to hear a lot of conversation about women and relationships. By the time I got to be a teenager, my dad started to really talk to me about relationships directly. And those conversations helped me to understand how and why he treated some of the women that he dated differently from others.
Now back to Uriah, in 2 Samuel 11, we are told the events that lead to his death in the hottest battle. But before he died, he was given a chance to go home to his wife. Now upon reading the story, this was not as any favor to Uriah, but it was truly a set up to cover up what was going on with David and Bathsheba. So this is where I am going to talk briefly about Bathsheba's perspective, and how it reflects one of my greatest fears.
We really dont know anything about Bathsheba and Uriah's relationship. We have no idea what Bathsheba shared with King David about her relationship or home situation. We are not given any insight into the pillow talk that Bathsheba had with Uriah or with King David. So what we have to go on are just the facts that are presented in the text. I have heard it preached from a lot of different angles, and most of the time those angles portray Bathsheba as having negative behavior and motives, which I am not completely sure are presented in the wording or the tone of the text. But I am not going to debate that at this time. I want to really get to a woman's perspective of Uriah's decision not to go home to his wife.
Human behavior is very telling. Regardless of what a person says, their behavior tells the much larger portion of the truth. This frame of logic is how we are going to view Uriah's decision to sleep outside and not go home to his wife. I am going to simply say that he didnt want her, he didnt want to go home to her. He was a soldier who knew that he could die in battle any day, and he is given a chance to go home for a few nights to his wife and he would rather not, and says that it is his loyalty to the other soldiers who are not able to have this same opportunity to visit home.
A man in love, doesnt usually, really doesnt operate like that because love makes a man want to take every opportunity to spend time with the woman that he loves, even if it means returning to battle and his death the next day..... That is even more justification for him to take the opportunity to spend the night with the woman he loves. A man in love is caring and attentive, and willing to do his best to make sure the woman that he loves is happy. It was not as if Uriah was sneaking away to visit home, but he told to go home. Now we dont know if he suspected something, or even if he had heard gossip, because that is not given to us in the text, all we have is the excuse that he uses to not go into his home to his wife.
So can you imagine what that must have felt like for Bathsheba? Her husband is in town, but is sleeping outside with servants and refusing to come home to her. This is rejection, neglect, and disregard. Those are the things that a woman will get from a man who does not love her. So imagine Bathsheba being married to a man who has so little affinity or interest in being a husband to her. You might ask, so does this validate the theories that she was intentionally trying to be seen bathing? I dont know. But what we do see is a married man who declares more loyalty to the army and to the king, than to his wife, or even a desire for her.
To be in a relationship marriage with someone who does not love you and who does not want you is a miserable way to live out your days. Having to pretend to family and friends that everything is ok when there is no real love or passion is hurtful and draining. God's plan for marriage is for it to be the most loving and nourishing experience that affirms both the man and woman, in such a way that their bond is both spiritually and naturally strong. So when we see Bathsheba move on with her life after Uriah's death, I cant help but to think that she must have mourned his death, but that she must have also been relieved to not have to any longer pretend that she was loved and cared for my a man who really didnt want to come home to her. With Uriah out of the way, Bathsheba was free to be loved and cherished.
Showing posts with label Men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Men. Show all posts
May 13, 2018
April 24, 2018
Gender and Salvation
Contrary to what our society wants to tell us, there are some distinct differences in men and women. God created humanity this way for a reason. The differences are to compliment each other, they are not to make one gender more valid than the other, they are designed to work together to create balance in the home, family, community and society.
Within this understanding there are some things that are part of the personality of the individual, but for the most part at the core there are certain things that are key characteristics. God's creation is intentional, with so much attention to detail that some times it is hard to even wrap one's mind around all of the intricate care that God lovingly set in order to create the world that we live in and our human bodies designed just right for the atmosphere and gravity of the Earth.
There are some cognitive differences in men and women. I wont bore with too much scientific fact, but I will say that in many cases men and women process information differently, and they respond to that information differently. Again, I will state that personality in the individual does play a key role in this, because each person has some unique qualities, as God did not create us as one clone, but part of the beautiful variety that is throughout creation. For example, all trees have the same basic features, but there are multiple varieties of trees, the same can be said of birds, flowers, on and on.... God clearly loves variety because it is expressed throughout creation. In this way, each individual is unique, but with some sameness of humanity.
Salvation is defined in the Westminster Dictionary of Theological Terms as follows:
"God's activities in bringing humans into a right relationship with God and with one another through Jesus Christ. They are saved from the consequences of their sin and given eternal life. Biblical images for salvation vary widely."
This definition uses some very active words. It also clearly states that salvation is more than just the relationship with God, but also with one another. This is very important to understand the Christian community of faith that develops among those who are saved. No where in this definition is a distinction of gender, which means that salvation is for both men and women. But when we look at the Christian community of faith, in almost all cases there are more women than men within congregations.
Salvation is available to all. How men and women process information can be very different, especially when it comes to self introspection. This is important because when presenting the Gospel to men and women, there is some need for intentional use of facts, because men get details and facts in a very different way than women do. This is often reflected in communication styles. Men want the bottom line fact first, and women can navigate through the details and eventually get to what should point to the facts.
For salvation to take place, one must be aware that one's relationship with God is not right. ... That one is a sinner. To acknowledge this fact in one's spiritual state of being requires conviction. Our legal system has lead us to think about conviction in a certain way, that relies on how the information is understood by others. But the type of conviction that leads one to realize they are in need of Jesus Christ and salvation, is internal. In other words, the facts have to be presented to the individual, not the group of peers. The group of peers may see the facts without a shadow of a doubt, but for salvation to take place the individual must see one's own sinful nature as based on the facts presented to one's own self. This level of self honesty means that the person must be humbled by the Holy Spirit of God opening ones eyes, to be honest with one's self about one's own actions and motives.
Conviction of sin is defined in the Westminster Dictionary of Theological Terms as follows:
"The sense of the reality of sin in one's life as known by the work of the Holy Spirit ( John 16: 8-9)."
When a person is unwilling to face the facts of their own wrong, it takes the Holy Spirit to show the individual how far way from God they truly are, how are away from doing right they truly are in their own way of being. Sinners and backsliders, are able to justify their ways, or the even ignore reasoning. But once one truly becomes aware of the fact that one is wrong, in word and deed, something has to change. Either the individual will take the "Romans Road" or will continue to reject God, Jesus Christ, and salvation.
In recent years, the preaching of the Gospel has become quite docile when it comes to stating the facts. And this is reflected in the lack of men who are active participants in church. This is reflective of the lower numbers of men who are accepting salvation in Jesus Christ. Maybe the "hell, fire, and brimstone" type sermon of the past seems a bit harsh, but some time the facts are harsh. Sin is harsh. The consequences of sin are harsh. What sin does to one's life is harsh. What sin does to one's physical body is harsh. What sin does to the state of one's soul is harsh.
Men must be presented with the facts. The church can not follow the trends of the world and sugar coat the truth. Men respect truth and honesty, even when it is not what they want to hear. No one will receive the truth or the facts, until they are willing to surrender their own self sufficiency and realize that what is needed can not be supplied by self. But salvation is available to everyone, both men and women. God is not hiding salvation from anyone, nor is God trying to make it an unsolvable riddle. The truth of the Gospel is plain and clearly states the facts.
Men may not like asking for help or directions, but when a man realizes that his soul is at stake, in danger, the urgency will become real. A sin sick soul can only be healed by the Power of God, through the blood of Jesus Christ. A man can not save his own soul, a woman can not save her own soul. We all need Jesus.
Within this understanding there are some things that are part of the personality of the individual, but for the most part at the core there are certain things that are key characteristics. God's creation is intentional, with so much attention to detail that some times it is hard to even wrap one's mind around all of the intricate care that God lovingly set in order to create the world that we live in and our human bodies designed just right for the atmosphere and gravity of the Earth.
There are some cognitive differences in men and women. I wont bore with too much scientific fact, but I will say that in many cases men and women process information differently, and they respond to that information differently. Again, I will state that personality in the individual does play a key role in this, because each person has some unique qualities, as God did not create us as one clone, but part of the beautiful variety that is throughout creation. For example, all trees have the same basic features, but there are multiple varieties of trees, the same can be said of birds, flowers, on and on.... God clearly loves variety because it is expressed throughout creation. In this way, each individual is unique, but with some sameness of humanity.
Salvation is defined in the Westminster Dictionary of Theological Terms as follows:
"God's activities in bringing humans into a right relationship with God and with one another through Jesus Christ. They are saved from the consequences of their sin and given eternal life. Biblical images for salvation vary widely."
This definition uses some very active words. It also clearly states that salvation is more than just the relationship with God, but also with one another. This is very important to understand the Christian community of faith that develops among those who are saved. No where in this definition is a distinction of gender, which means that salvation is for both men and women. But when we look at the Christian community of faith, in almost all cases there are more women than men within congregations.
Salvation is available to all. How men and women process information can be very different, especially when it comes to self introspection. This is important because when presenting the Gospel to men and women, there is some need for intentional use of facts, because men get details and facts in a very different way than women do. This is often reflected in communication styles. Men want the bottom line fact first, and women can navigate through the details and eventually get to what should point to the facts.
For salvation to take place, one must be aware that one's relationship with God is not right. ... That one is a sinner. To acknowledge this fact in one's spiritual state of being requires conviction. Our legal system has lead us to think about conviction in a certain way, that relies on how the information is understood by others. But the type of conviction that leads one to realize they are in need of Jesus Christ and salvation, is internal. In other words, the facts have to be presented to the individual, not the group of peers. The group of peers may see the facts without a shadow of a doubt, but for salvation to take place the individual must see one's own sinful nature as based on the facts presented to one's own self. This level of self honesty means that the person must be humbled by the Holy Spirit of God opening ones eyes, to be honest with one's self about one's own actions and motives.
Conviction of sin is defined in the Westminster Dictionary of Theological Terms as follows:
"The sense of the reality of sin in one's life as known by the work of the Holy Spirit ( John 16: 8-9)."
When a person is unwilling to face the facts of their own wrong, it takes the Holy Spirit to show the individual how far way from God they truly are, how are away from doing right they truly are in their own way of being. Sinners and backsliders, are able to justify their ways, or the even ignore reasoning. But once one truly becomes aware of the fact that one is wrong, in word and deed, something has to change. Either the individual will take the "Romans Road" or will continue to reject God, Jesus Christ, and salvation.
In recent years, the preaching of the Gospel has become quite docile when it comes to stating the facts. And this is reflected in the lack of men who are active participants in church. This is reflective of the lower numbers of men who are accepting salvation in Jesus Christ. Maybe the "hell, fire, and brimstone" type sermon of the past seems a bit harsh, but some time the facts are harsh. Sin is harsh. The consequences of sin are harsh. What sin does to one's life is harsh. What sin does to one's physical body is harsh. What sin does to the state of one's soul is harsh.
Men must be presented with the facts. The church can not follow the trends of the world and sugar coat the truth. Men respect truth and honesty, even when it is not what they want to hear. No one will receive the truth or the facts, until they are willing to surrender their own self sufficiency and realize that what is needed can not be supplied by self. But salvation is available to everyone, both men and women. God is not hiding salvation from anyone, nor is God trying to make it an unsolvable riddle. The truth of the Gospel is plain and clearly states the facts.
Men may not like asking for help or directions, but when a man realizes that his soul is at stake, in danger, the urgency will become real. A sin sick soul can only be healed by the Power of God, through the blood of Jesus Christ. A man can not save his own soul, a woman can not save her own soul. We all need Jesus.
February 14, 2018
LOVE IS MIGHTY
The holiday that is celebrated as Valentine's Day is completely made up by the materialistic and capitalistic agenda. There was a historical martyr who was killed for secretly marrying Christian couples during a time when it was forbidden. And this is significant for several reasons, because I can see our culture drifting towards attempting to make it illegal once again for Christians to marry, but that truth is not what is discussed on the holiday celebrated by this name. The world likes the money making aspect of the holidays, but wants to remove the Christian significance. And this holiday is no different. Mostly started by greeting card companies and embraced by jewelry distributors because it stands to bring great profits to their companies by simply selling a desired concept - Love.
The truth of the matter is that love is much greater and stronger than any card, flowers, candy or jewelry can represent. Yes, we all like to receive gifts. Yes, we appreciate that someone thinks enough to invest in showing how much they care. There is no question about that at all.
Love is spiritual. Love is a spiritual act. Love is about positive impact in the life of another person.
Love is essentially at the core of the human ability to understand how much God considers humanity (John 3:16). God's love can be gentle and kind, but God's love can also be redirecting and correcting. This is not the way that the marketing world wants you to see God's love. The little fat angels with arrows are completely different from the might angels that move at God's command. In this same way, the world shrinks love down to a materialistic expression. When in truth everything about God's love is mighty.
In this way, when God becomes the binding force in a relationship it becomes unbreakable. (Eccl 4:9-12). To love and to be loved is a beautiful thing that allows one to flourish in every aspect of life. The companionship is different from any other type of interaction. Love that is grounded in God's Love is nourishing. The love that the world markets at its core is like a leech, always looking for opportunity to deplete and take more and more without regard for return. But when God is at the core of love, there is a freedom to give and be what the other person needs without any consideration for the return, because the entire experience is enveloped in mutuality.
Mutuality is not the same as equality. Men can handle physical things that a woman was not designed to handle, and women can handle physical things that a man was not designed to handle. Here again, the secular world attempts to rebrand what God created. Men and women are designed by God with specific intention, and there are some distinct differences both in physical characteristics and skill sets. For example: A man's body is not designed or equipped to bring a living breathing life into this world, but a woman's body is built receive the seed, to carry the developing life, deliver the person into this world, and to feed the new person until the person is able to eat from other food sources. God designs with intention.
Each gender brings something complementary to the characteristics of the other. This is by God's design. Men and women were never created to contradict each other nor to be in competition with each other, but were created to contrast each other in a way that draws emphasis that displays the other. Men and women were designed to compliment each other.
The secular world screams for equality, but God's economy of love was created for us to bring to the other person what they dont have within their own self. This is what physical attraction is about and is at the core necessity of intimacy. Society attempts to devalue what is the most priceless part of how God created male and female, with distinction. Yes, there are plenty of things that a man can do just as well as a women, and there are plenty of things that a woman can do just as well as a man. But, when it is all said and done, we were not created for sameness, so even in having some of the same skill sets and many features in common, we are different and where created for the purpose of being what the other needs, but does not contain within self.
We must be careful not to allow similar skill sets to appear to be signs of compatibility. Team members often have the same strengths and the same passion, but each also has to bring something that the other does not have or possess. This is what makes the team a well functioning unit and a couple is a well functioning unit, a team.
This is why it is important to be equally yoked, for the productivity of the team (2 Corinthians 6:14). Both spiritually and naturally, this is important. When your life is connected to the life of another person, you have to agree on which direction and for what you are working towards. Common sense would tell you that you cant have one person wanting to go North and the other person wanting to go South, because then all of their energy is depleted in the internal struggle of the team not going the same direction. When there is a tug of war in a relationship, sadly, someone wins. And this means that someone is losing ground on the direction they want to go towards. This changes what should be a win-win into a win-lose. This is why it is so important to attach your life to someone who is spiritually going the same direction as yourself. When both individuals are determined to go in the same direction, then there is an agreement of effort that become empowering, because both are using their strengths and skills to move forward. The team wins together.
Traditional marriage is attacked because it is evident how strong a well working unit is in accomplishing anything that the team sets its mind to accomplish. God created marriage that way, and God designed it so that LOVE is central to motivate the individuals to withstand the most challenging of times and situations to stay focused on the end result of the family.
Growing together in God is empowering. With the love of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Ghost, the Christian couple is unified and formidable .
Godly love has a ripple affect of blessings in the life of the Christian.
The truth of the matter is that love is much greater and stronger than any card, flowers, candy or jewelry can represent. Yes, we all like to receive gifts. Yes, we appreciate that someone thinks enough to invest in showing how much they care. There is no question about that at all.
Love is spiritual. Love is a spiritual act. Love is about positive impact in the life of another person.
Love is essentially at the core of the human ability to understand how much God considers humanity (John 3:16). God's love can be gentle and kind, but God's love can also be redirecting and correcting. This is not the way that the marketing world wants you to see God's love. The little fat angels with arrows are completely different from the might angels that move at God's command. In this same way, the world shrinks love down to a materialistic expression. When in truth everything about God's love is mighty.
In this way, when God becomes the binding force in a relationship it becomes unbreakable. (Eccl 4:9-12). To love and to be loved is a beautiful thing that allows one to flourish in every aspect of life. The companionship is different from any other type of interaction. Love that is grounded in God's Love is nourishing. The love that the world markets at its core is like a leech, always looking for opportunity to deplete and take more and more without regard for return. But when God is at the core of love, there is a freedom to give and be what the other person needs without any consideration for the return, because the entire experience is enveloped in mutuality.
Mutuality is not the same as equality. Men can handle physical things that a woman was not designed to handle, and women can handle physical things that a man was not designed to handle. Here again, the secular world attempts to rebrand what God created. Men and women are designed by God with specific intention, and there are some distinct differences both in physical characteristics and skill sets. For example: A man's body is not designed or equipped to bring a living breathing life into this world, but a woman's body is built receive the seed, to carry the developing life, deliver the person into this world, and to feed the new person until the person is able to eat from other food sources. God designs with intention.
Each gender brings something complementary to the characteristics of the other. This is by God's design. Men and women were never created to contradict each other nor to be in competition with each other, but were created to contrast each other in a way that draws emphasis that displays the other. Men and women were designed to compliment each other.
The secular world screams for equality, but God's economy of love was created for us to bring to the other person what they dont have within their own self. This is what physical attraction is about and is at the core necessity of intimacy. Society attempts to devalue what is the most priceless part of how God created male and female, with distinction. Yes, there are plenty of things that a man can do just as well as a women, and there are plenty of things that a woman can do just as well as a man. But, when it is all said and done, we were not created for sameness, so even in having some of the same skill sets and many features in common, we are different and where created for the purpose of being what the other needs, but does not contain within self.
We must be careful not to allow similar skill sets to appear to be signs of compatibility. Team members often have the same strengths and the same passion, but each also has to bring something that the other does not have or possess. This is what makes the team a well functioning unit and a couple is a well functioning unit, a team.
This is why it is important to be equally yoked, for the productivity of the team (2 Corinthians 6:14). Both spiritually and naturally, this is important. When your life is connected to the life of another person, you have to agree on which direction and for what you are working towards. Common sense would tell you that you cant have one person wanting to go North and the other person wanting to go South, because then all of their energy is depleted in the internal struggle of the team not going the same direction. When there is a tug of war in a relationship, sadly, someone wins. And this means that someone is losing ground on the direction they want to go towards. This changes what should be a win-win into a win-lose. This is why it is so important to attach your life to someone who is spiritually going the same direction as yourself. When both individuals are determined to go in the same direction, then there is an agreement of effort that become empowering, because both are using their strengths and skills to move forward. The team wins together.
Traditional marriage is attacked because it is evident how strong a well working unit is in accomplishing anything that the team sets its mind to accomplish. God created marriage that way, and God designed it so that LOVE is central to motivate the individuals to withstand the most challenging of times and situations to stay focused on the end result of the family.
Growing together in God is empowering. With the love of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Ghost, the Christian couple is unified and formidable .
Godly love has a ripple affect of blessings in the life of the Christian.
September 25, 2010
PASTOR WORSHIP
As I think back over the years to the scandals that I can remember, many of them involved prominent preachers. This factor is due to the fact that I was raised in church and a lot of my family experience and social awareness had something to do with church.
One of the things that has always, and still does fascinate me is how people can go beyond respecting, beyond the admiring of gifts, beyond envy, beyond ‘star struck’ over into a completely other zone of literally worshipping the pastor.
In my opinion there is nothing wrong with acknowledging and respecting someone for their gifts, but when transforms into worship then it becomes problematic.
The first reason this is problematic is due to the humanity of the one being worshiped. The act of worship is reserved for a deity. There is but one GOD, who is the creator and sustainer of us all. God actually spoke to this issue a long time ago, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." (Exodus 20:3- for those of you who didn’t have the Sunday
School experience.)
School experience.)
Simple enough, right? God tells us that God doesn’t want us to raise any one or anything us as a god in front of GOD. Since God is everywhere and at all times, that means not at all.
We see some of the pitfalls and disappointments that can come from a human being that is treated as a deity in
some of the situations that manifest out of it. But how do we respect and care for those who are gifted by God without using them as a surrogate?
some of the situations that manifest out of it. But how do we respect and care for those who are gifted by God without using them as a surrogate?
We as human beings have a responsibility to uphold our end the the individual relationship to God. This would include recognizing the difference in a mortal and God.
Public figures and high profile personalities are still humans. So when we have to look for a source of the
grandiosity the builds up in an person to make them feel that they are above the law or above moral standards, then we have to look ourselves. As we look at ourselves we must ask, ‘have I more respect of this person than I do for the
Almighty God’?
grandiosity the builds up in an person to make them feel that they are above the law or above moral standards, then we have to look ourselves. As we look at ourselves we must ask, ‘have I more respect of this person than I do for the
Almighty God’?
“Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are that judge: for wherein you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you that judge do the same things. But we are sure that the judgment of God is according to truth against them which commit such things. And think you this, O man, that judge them which do such things, and do the same, that you shall escape the judgment of God? Or despise you the riches of his goodness and forbearance and long-suffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance? But after your hardness and impenitent heart
treasure up to yourself wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God; Who will render to every man according to his deeds: To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honor and immortality, eternal life: But to them that are contentious, and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath, Tribulation and anguish, on every soul of man that does evil, of the Jew first, and also of the Gentile; But glory, honor, and peace, to every man that works good, to the Jew first, and also to the Gentile: For there is no respect of persons with God.” (Romans 2: 1-11)
treasure up to yourself wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God; Who will render to every man according to his deeds: To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honor and immortality, eternal life: But to them that are contentious, and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath, Tribulation and anguish, on every soul of man that does evil, of the Jew first, and also of the Gentile; But glory, honor, and peace, to every man that works good, to the Jew first, and also to the Gentile: For there is no respect of persons with God.” (Romans 2: 1-11)
Each of us is accountable. Each of us should be held accountable for our actions and deeds. Many suffer when turn our heads to the standards and allow injustice to take place. Many suffer when they put too much trust in a human being.
When all else fails, God yet remains and therefore, ‘IN GOD WE TRUST’.
September 23, 2010
PATERNAL CASTRATION
Fatherhood is and should be a rank of social status in both the home and the community. There is authority in being a FATHER. On the other hand, being a Daddy, is a privilege. Daddy is the one that takes you fun places and makes things entertaining for you life and development.
Our society has promoted the role of being a daddy to the extent that it has all but alleviated the honor of being a FATHER. There is no wonder that people lack one of the most essential characteristic traits that comes from the impact that a real father has on the lives of those around him. We see it every day in the sense of entitlement that everyone feels to do as they please without regard for how it affects others. We see it in the decline of moral and social standards. It can be described with one simple word, but I think Aretha Franklin sang it best when she belted out, ‘R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me’. What does it mean to us today?
One of the first places that a developing individual learns this concept of respect is from the Father. For he is the one who sets the boundaries of what will and will not be acceptable behavior for everyone in his presence and under his authority. His rank commands that what he says is to be give the utmost attention.
All of this ‘you are fine, just the way you are’, would not have been acceptable a generation ago. So what has changed? Fathers have been socially, morally and legally castrated. It seems to be ok with everyone, since it has not become official with physical castration. But when you take away the utmost identity of a person and their right to walk in their God given identity, you set things out of order. And this state of being out of order is affecting every aspect of our society. We must welcome all real fathers to take their rightful place in the home and in the community. We must encourage those who are slacking in their role as father to understand that they are needed by us all.
Although I am a female, I feel that I have some justified ability to speak on this matter because I am unmistakably a Daddy’s Girl. Anyone who knows me personally can testify to this fact. Also anyone who knows me can tell you that my father lives with authority in his home, in his church and in his community….so much so that there are now those who affectionately call him ‘Papa’. But when I was a little girl, people called him, ‘Mr. Williams’ and those adults who knew him well referred to him as ‘Big George’. And one thing that everyone knew is that you were not going to mistreat his daughter. This was not a topic of discussion. It was so.
Beyond his role as a father to me, he was also not going to let injustice happen to any other child in my neighborhood. His primary focus was his own child, but it reached further to be about the community at large. It was about what was morally correct.
This role of fatherhood didn’t develop in isolation, for my father, it came from his father, his grandfather and a host of men in his community that all understood that they were setting a standard for how the environment would govern itself with some standards of moral sensibility. It was the intention to not let another male give manhood a bad name.
That being said, I can not really find the words to express my frustration at the media fiasco that has come of the father who went onto the school bus to address the children that were mistreating his daughter. I cant condone his language or his verbiage, but I do commend him walking in the role of a father. It is completely within his right to speak to the child who is mistreating his child, and it is completely within him right to speak to the parents of the child or children who are mistreating his child.
More than his use of foul language, I am offended that he is being treated as if he has committed some criminal act for addressing the situation. Now if he had physically handled the child then I might make a different judgment on the matter, but his verbal response to the situation was to shift the boundaries of what was appropriate in the treatment of his daughter on the bus. Basic human rights.
There are those who say that this should have been handled by the authority of the school or by the guidance counselor. SINCE WHEN, SHOULD THE SCHOOL HAVE MORE SAY OR AUTHORITY IN THE PROTECTION OF A CHILD THAN THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER OF THE CHILD?
Statistically there is more justification for the entire community being involved in the raising of a child versus the standards falling on the governmental agencies. Less people went to jail when the extension cord, the belt, the switch and such were not illegal as a form of discipline. I don’t condone abuse, but there is a distinct difference in discipline and abuse. Every time your feelings get hurt you have not been abused.
Now intrusive government has made parents scared to discipline their children. People are walking around scared to make their children behave because some outsider my think it inappropriate. So now we all have to live with the little banshees conducting themselves with no respect for others or themselves.
And this situation on this school bus needed to be addressed by adults. This father is a grown man, so he shouldn’t have to function like a child and go tell someone to make them stop. A Father is not supposed to handle situations like a child would handle the situation by telling an adult. If the situation has escalated to the point of needing further intervention, then it would have been correct to involve the school authorities.
Where I come from we had a kind of fear that caused us to respect adults and conduct ourselves as best we could in the presence of an adult. So it really didn’t matter whose parents they were, we respected them because they were parents. It was that simple. And yes some of those parents didn’t always speak to us with kind and flowery word, but we knew better than to be disrespectful in their presence. We had social boundaries. It made us better people because we grew up with a sense of being in the world that produced a level of character in us that was and is unmistakable.
Now that I think about it, we were just as respectful of the administrators at our school as we were the parents in the neighborhood. And to say that our guidance counselor didn’t play, she was all about making sure we had the best opportunity to learn and think about our future. As teenagers we dreaded having to discuss our misconduct with her just as much as anything else. When we saw her coming down the hall, there was no question that we all became academic soldiers serious about staying focused for the next class. As a matter of fact, most of our teachers and administrators were serious about our academic progress and passed on that love of learning to us.
This is the other reason that this news story of the child on the school bus disheartens me because I want to hear about how the administrators care about the emotional and physical well being of the students on the school bus. The girl in this news story is struggling with all that she had to deal with and I am not seeing anything being addressed but that the father stood up to the children who where bullying the child… so much so that now the father is going to be called a bully. WHAT?
Let me go back to the town where I was raised, and point out all of the adults that were not going to tolerate children conducting themselves any kind of way, whether on the school bus, or anywhere else for that matter. If I went back to the 70’s and 80’s and just think about how we felt when a parent had to look out the door to see what we were doing because we got too loud, or to see who was playing in their yard, then I would have a Christmas list worth of bullies.
In a lot of ways, we knew the boundaries of us as children and the reality that we were not equals to adults. We understood that parents were to be respected. As children, we fought and disagreed with each other, and learned conflict resolution first hand, but the parents set the boundaries to make sure that things didn’t go too far.
If I had to list all of the adults that set us in line and threatened to do us harm if we didn’t conduct ourselves better, then over half of my neighborhood would have been in big trouble with the law because they enforced the social standards that helped us grow up in safety to become decent respectful adults.
Let us stop the media version of castration being done to a father who simple wanted to protect his daughter from emotional and physical harm. And I say, let this father be a father.
Let all fathers, who sincerely want to walk in the God given authority of being a protector and provider for their family and community, stand unashamed as they prepare the next generation to be good and moral citizens.
Our society has promoted the role of being a daddy to the extent that it has all but alleviated the honor of being a FATHER. There is no wonder that people lack one of the most essential characteristic traits that comes from the impact that a real father has on the lives of those around him. We see it every day in the sense of entitlement that everyone feels to do as they please without regard for how it affects others. We see it in the decline of moral and social standards. It can be described with one simple word, but I think Aretha Franklin sang it best when she belted out, ‘R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me’. What does it mean to us today?
One of the first places that a developing individual learns this concept of respect is from the Father. For he is the one who sets the boundaries of what will and will not be acceptable behavior for everyone in his presence and under his authority. His rank commands that what he says is to be give the utmost attention.
All of this ‘you are fine, just the way you are’, would not have been acceptable a generation ago. So what has changed? Fathers have been socially, morally and legally castrated. It seems to be ok with everyone, since it has not become official with physical castration. But when you take away the utmost identity of a person and their right to walk in their God given identity, you set things out of order. And this state of being out of order is affecting every aspect of our society. We must welcome all real fathers to take their rightful place in the home and in the community. We must encourage those who are slacking in their role as father to understand that they are needed by us all.
Although I am a female, I feel that I have some justified ability to speak on this matter because I am unmistakably a Daddy’s Girl. Anyone who knows me personally can testify to this fact. Also anyone who knows me can tell you that my father lives with authority in his home, in his church and in his community….so much so that there are now those who affectionately call him ‘Papa’. But when I was a little girl, people called him, ‘Mr. Williams’ and those adults who knew him well referred to him as ‘Big George’. And one thing that everyone knew is that you were not going to mistreat his daughter. This was not a topic of discussion. It was so.
Beyond his role as a father to me, he was also not going to let injustice happen to any other child in my neighborhood. His primary focus was his own child, but it reached further to be about the community at large. It was about what was morally correct.
This role of fatherhood didn’t develop in isolation, for my father, it came from his father, his grandfather and a host of men in his community that all understood that they were setting a standard for how the environment would govern itself with some standards of moral sensibility. It was the intention to not let another male give manhood a bad name.
That being said, I can not really find the words to express my frustration at the media fiasco that has come of the father who went onto the school bus to address the children that were mistreating his daughter. I cant condone his language or his verbiage, but I do commend him walking in the role of a father. It is completely within his right to speak to the child who is mistreating his child, and it is completely within him right to speak to the parents of the child or children who are mistreating his child.
More than his use of foul language, I am offended that he is being treated as if he has committed some criminal act for addressing the situation. Now if he had physically handled the child then I might make a different judgment on the matter, but his verbal response to the situation was to shift the boundaries of what was appropriate in the treatment of his daughter on the bus. Basic human rights.
There are those who say that this should have been handled by the authority of the school or by the guidance counselor. SINCE WHEN, SHOULD THE SCHOOL HAVE MORE SAY OR AUTHORITY IN THE PROTECTION OF A CHILD THAN THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER OF THE CHILD?
Statistically there is more justification for the entire community being involved in the raising of a child versus the standards falling on the governmental agencies. Less people went to jail when the extension cord, the belt, the switch and such were not illegal as a form of discipline. I don’t condone abuse, but there is a distinct difference in discipline and abuse. Every time your feelings get hurt you have not been abused.
Now intrusive government has made parents scared to discipline their children. People are walking around scared to make their children behave because some outsider my think it inappropriate. So now we all have to live with the little banshees conducting themselves with no respect for others or themselves.
And this situation on this school bus needed to be addressed by adults. This father is a grown man, so he shouldn’t have to function like a child and go tell someone to make them stop. A Father is not supposed to handle situations like a child would handle the situation by telling an adult. If the situation has escalated to the point of needing further intervention, then it would have been correct to involve the school authorities.
Where I come from we had a kind of fear that caused us to respect adults and conduct ourselves as best we could in the presence of an adult. So it really didn’t matter whose parents they were, we respected them because they were parents. It was that simple. And yes some of those parents didn’t always speak to us with kind and flowery word, but we knew better than to be disrespectful in their presence. We had social boundaries. It made us better people because we grew up with a sense of being in the world that produced a level of character in us that was and is unmistakable.
Now that I think about it, we were just as respectful of the administrators at our school as we were the parents in the neighborhood. And to say that our guidance counselor didn’t play, she was all about making sure we had the best opportunity to learn and think about our future. As teenagers we dreaded having to discuss our misconduct with her just as much as anything else. When we saw her coming down the hall, there was no question that we all became academic soldiers serious about staying focused for the next class. As a matter of fact, most of our teachers and administrators were serious about our academic progress and passed on that love of learning to us.
This is the other reason that this news story of the child on the school bus disheartens me because I want to hear about how the administrators care about the emotional and physical well being of the students on the school bus. The girl in this news story is struggling with all that she had to deal with and I am not seeing anything being addressed but that the father stood up to the children who where bullying the child… so much so that now the father is going to be called a bully. WHAT?
Let me go back to the town where I was raised, and point out all of the adults that were not going to tolerate children conducting themselves any kind of way, whether on the school bus, or anywhere else for that matter. If I went back to the 70’s and 80’s and just think about how we felt when a parent had to look out the door to see what we were doing because we got too loud, or to see who was playing in their yard, then I would have a Christmas list worth of bullies.
In a lot of ways, we knew the boundaries of us as children and the reality that we were not equals to adults. We understood that parents were to be respected. As children, we fought and disagreed with each other, and learned conflict resolution first hand, but the parents set the boundaries to make sure that things didn’t go too far.
If I had to list all of the adults that set us in line and threatened to do us harm if we didn’t conduct ourselves better, then over half of my neighborhood would have been in big trouble with the law because they enforced the social standards that helped us grow up in safety to become decent respectful adults.
Let us stop the media version of castration being done to a father who simple wanted to protect his daughter from emotional and physical harm. And I say, let this father be a father.
Let all fathers, who sincerely want to walk in the God given authority of being a protector and provider for their family and community, stand unashamed as they prepare the next generation to be good and moral citizens.
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