One of my favorite hymns is Loyalty to Christ
(but only when it is sung in a syncopated jubilee style - no judgments)
A person's behaviors in human to human relationships is a direct reflection of how one understands and perceives their personal relationship with God.
The past couple of weeks have been very different than normal. The Cover-19 has changed everything and every quickly. It has given me a lot of time for reflection.
Much of that reflection has been about my daddy and the ways he taught me to assess and respond to everyday life. I am a daddy's girl to the core. My father has been gone/transitioned out of his 'earth suit' as he called it, for almost 6 years now, and the adjustment has been challenging, but I have done my best to continue, as we all do with the loss and grief that is a part of life.
The last week or so, I have thought long and hard about the concept of loyalty. It is one of the components of HESED. Often translated as 'lovingkindness', but is actually much more, more inclusive, and one of those inclusions is Loyalty. God is way more loyal to us than we are to God. But as Christians, we work towards being in a stable and consistent relationship with God.
This morning, I woke up to pray and memories of a situation came to mind:
Once upon a time, I used obedience train and show German Shepherd dogs (GSD) for show in the categories of obedience and confirmation. Much of the time spent with the dogs were to get them ready for their purpose, to win in dog shows. All of our dogs were AKC registered for show and breeding........ But each was also the family companion pet.
What particularly came to my mind was this one dog. He was beautiful with great pedigree, had great potential to win every show that we entered him in. He had a beautiful gate and a wonderful coat of fur, his stature and stack were spectacular. He was a champion in the making. We had every expectation of him winning national competitions. And of course, as his handler and trainer, it would have put my name on the map in the industry. We put a lot of time and money into, not only the purchase of this puppy, but in raising him for his destiny. He was our family pet, but he was an investment in his own potential to be a winner. Together we could have conquered the dog show arena everywhere we entered competition.
The problem was that this dog did now see or value his potential the way that my daddy and I did, nor did he have any loyalty to being a member of our family. No matter the gifts that he was created with and the potential that he had been trained to reach, in his heart he saw himself as nothing more than a common stray. Often he would dig his way out of the fence and be gone, some times for days. My daddy would say, just put his food out at dinner time and he will come home to eat. Most of the time, this was the case, like clock work, he would run back to the yard like nothing had happened. But he would be dirty and have all kinds of things stuck in his beautiful coat of fur. I would clean him up so that he could come in the house, and take his place as a member of the family. Repeatedly he would run away while he was supposed to be outside in his fenced run (a fenced area specific to the need for exercise and muscle building common to large dogs, especially those who lived primarily inside). He would dig his way out, repeatedly we tried all kinds of ways to keep him from getting out of the fence, but where there was a will, there was a way. We would worry about his safety and search for him, with no success most of the time. We had to just have the resolve to wait for him to return home.
Then, one night there was a bad thunderstorm, with lots of rain and hail. We got in my daddy's van and drove around searching for this dog. We were worried that he would get hit by a car, or be shot by someone who was afraid of a dog who was simply taking shelter from the storm in their yard or on their porch. After hours of searching with no success, my daddy said there was not point in us being in danger by being out in the storm looking for this dog. My daddy reassured me that the dog would find its way home, as always. But what my daddy didn't tell me in that moment was that he was fed up with this stray mentality.
Just like my daddy had predicted, a few days later the dog showed back up, horribly dirty, but safe. But this time would be different. My daddy was prepared to sell the dog to a kennel, that wanted him because of all of his potential. This way, my daddy didn't lose all of his financial investment, as he would have if the dog had gotten killed during one if its run away adventures, and now those straying behaviors could be someone else's concern and not ours. The dog stayed gone so much and became such a headache that he really wasn't missed as a family pet, so much as a relief to no longer have to deal with the mentality of a stray.
Soon my daddy and I would pick out a new dog. We would have a new show dog in the house, one that appreciated the love and care of our home. One that would be a great companion, loyal and with great features for dog show competition and pedigree. This dog wanted to be a winner, this dog wanted to be a member of our family. And this dog would go on to win competitions, but in truth did not have the potential that the previous dog had, but did what the previous dog could not stay put long enough to do = win.
I said all of that to say, that with people, their behavior is a direct reflection of their relationship and loyalty to their faith in God. A person can't behave in a way that is not established in their mindset and self perception. Just like the dog that I once had, people can be spiritual strays and it will be manifested in the way they live their life, and the value that they place on the love and care that they receive from others. This void in a person can only be filled and healed by God's redemptive work in the life of the individual.
While we have this time of social distancing, lets take the time to evaluate and re-evaluate where we are putting our time and energy, and pray for spiritual strays. Know that it is not your job to keep them on track spiritually, because salvation is personal and only Jesus Christ can be their Savior and LORD.
Whether anyone goes with you are not, 'press toward the mark of the high calling.' - Live and Love like a WINNER. Keep the Romans 8 mentality.
Showing posts with label Reality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reality. Show all posts
March 27, 2020
May 13, 2018
URIAH
In the story of David and Bathsheba, we have a very interesting person who seems to get the short end of the situation. But I often wonder if this is the only way to look at this portion of text. I say that because Uriah the Hittite represents one of my greatest fears.
Before I explain my views on this portion of text, let me give just a bit of background information about myself. My father had 5 brothers. I lived in the house with my dad and my oldest male cousin who was 12 years older than myself. So you can say almost all of my childhood was one of feeling very protected, affirmed, and loved. I was my dad's only child so I was destined to be treated a certain way, better known as spoiled. With this many men in my childhood I was destined to not only get most anything that I wanted, because if one uncle said no, another uncle would either say yes, or find some way to compensate by offering something else that I might want. For example, if one uncle would not give me ice cream from the gas station up the street, all I had to do was to come back and make an announcement that I didnt get any ice cream. This would be followed by the men having conversation about why I was denied ice cream or what ever it was that I wanted. And not much time would pass before another uncle would invite me to go for a ride with him, only to end up at Kay's Ice Cream shop which had a whole bunch of flavors on display for me to choose from. This understanding of how men treat those they care for and love has framed my understanding of relationships in general. It has also set the bar for how I measure the behavior of men as an adult.
Growing up in a small town, during a time when people actually sat around and communicated with each other gave me a lot of insight from the perspectives of my aunts while they were stringing and breaking green beans or something. And many times, I got to hear the conversations (while I was supposed to be playing in the yard and not listening) of my dad and his brothers talking about community issues, political events, but also to hear a lot of conversation about women and relationships. By the time I got to be a teenager, my dad started to really talk to me about relationships directly. And those conversations helped me to understand how and why he treated some of the women that he dated differently from others.
Now back to Uriah, in 2 Samuel 11, we are told the events that lead to his death in the hottest battle. But before he died, he was given a chance to go home to his wife. Now upon reading the story, this was not as any favor to Uriah, but it was truly a set up to cover up what was going on with David and Bathsheba. So this is where I am going to talk briefly about Bathsheba's perspective, and how it reflects one of my greatest fears.
We really dont know anything about Bathsheba and Uriah's relationship. We have no idea what Bathsheba shared with King David about her relationship or home situation. We are not given any insight into the pillow talk that Bathsheba had with Uriah or with King David. So what we have to go on are just the facts that are presented in the text. I have heard it preached from a lot of different angles, and most of the time those angles portray Bathsheba as having negative behavior and motives, which I am not completely sure are presented in the wording or the tone of the text. But I am not going to debate that at this time. I want to really get to a woman's perspective of Uriah's decision not to go home to his wife.
Human behavior is very telling. Regardless of what a person says, their behavior tells the much larger portion of the truth. This frame of logic is how we are going to view Uriah's decision to sleep outside and not go home to his wife. I am going to simply say that he didnt want her, he didnt want to go home to her. He was a soldier who knew that he could die in battle any day, and he is given a chance to go home for a few nights to his wife and he would rather not, and says that it is his loyalty to the other soldiers who are not able to have this same opportunity to visit home.
A man in love, doesnt usually, really doesnt operate like that because love makes a man want to take every opportunity to spend time with the woman that he loves, even if it means returning to battle and his death the next day..... That is even more justification for him to take the opportunity to spend the night with the woman he loves. A man in love is caring and attentive, and willing to do his best to make sure the woman that he loves is happy. It was not as if Uriah was sneaking away to visit home, but he told to go home. Now we dont know if he suspected something, or even if he had heard gossip, because that is not given to us in the text, all we have is the excuse that he uses to not go into his home to his wife.
So can you imagine what that must have felt like for Bathsheba? Her husband is in town, but is sleeping outside with servants and refusing to come home to her. This is rejection, neglect, and disregard. Those are the things that a woman will get from a man who does not love her. So imagine Bathsheba being married to a man who has so little affinity or interest in being a husband to her. You might ask, so does this validate the theories that she was intentionally trying to be seen bathing? I dont know. But what we do see is a married man who declares more loyalty to the army and to the king, than to his wife, or even a desire for her.
To be in a relationship marriage with someone who does not love you and who does not want you is a miserable way to live out your days. Having to pretend to family and friends that everything is ok when there is no real love or passion is hurtful and draining. God's plan for marriage is for it to be the most loving and nourishing experience that affirms both the man and woman, in such a way that their bond is both spiritually and naturally strong. So when we see Bathsheba move on with her life after Uriah's death, I cant help but to think that she must have mourned his death, but that she must have also been relieved to not have to any longer pretend that she was loved and cared for my a man who really didnt want to come home to her. With Uriah out of the way, Bathsheba was free to be loved and cherished.
Before I explain my views on this portion of text, let me give just a bit of background information about myself. My father had 5 brothers. I lived in the house with my dad and my oldest male cousin who was 12 years older than myself. So you can say almost all of my childhood was one of feeling very protected, affirmed, and loved. I was my dad's only child so I was destined to be treated a certain way, better known as spoiled. With this many men in my childhood I was destined to not only get most anything that I wanted, because if one uncle said no, another uncle would either say yes, or find some way to compensate by offering something else that I might want. For example, if one uncle would not give me ice cream from the gas station up the street, all I had to do was to come back and make an announcement that I didnt get any ice cream. This would be followed by the men having conversation about why I was denied ice cream or what ever it was that I wanted. And not much time would pass before another uncle would invite me to go for a ride with him, only to end up at Kay's Ice Cream shop which had a whole bunch of flavors on display for me to choose from. This understanding of how men treat those they care for and love has framed my understanding of relationships in general. It has also set the bar for how I measure the behavior of men as an adult.
Growing up in a small town, during a time when people actually sat around and communicated with each other gave me a lot of insight from the perspectives of my aunts while they were stringing and breaking green beans or something. And many times, I got to hear the conversations (while I was supposed to be playing in the yard and not listening) of my dad and his brothers talking about community issues, political events, but also to hear a lot of conversation about women and relationships. By the time I got to be a teenager, my dad started to really talk to me about relationships directly. And those conversations helped me to understand how and why he treated some of the women that he dated differently from others.
Now back to Uriah, in 2 Samuel 11, we are told the events that lead to his death in the hottest battle. But before he died, he was given a chance to go home to his wife. Now upon reading the story, this was not as any favor to Uriah, but it was truly a set up to cover up what was going on with David and Bathsheba. So this is where I am going to talk briefly about Bathsheba's perspective, and how it reflects one of my greatest fears.
We really dont know anything about Bathsheba and Uriah's relationship. We have no idea what Bathsheba shared with King David about her relationship or home situation. We are not given any insight into the pillow talk that Bathsheba had with Uriah or with King David. So what we have to go on are just the facts that are presented in the text. I have heard it preached from a lot of different angles, and most of the time those angles portray Bathsheba as having negative behavior and motives, which I am not completely sure are presented in the wording or the tone of the text. But I am not going to debate that at this time. I want to really get to a woman's perspective of Uriah's decision not to go home to his wife.
Human behavior is very telling. Regardless of what a person says, their behavior tells the much larger portion of the truth. This frame of logic is how we are going to view Uriah's decision to sleep outside and not go home to his wife. I am going to simply say that he didnt want her, he didnt want to go home to her. He was a soldier who knew that he could die in battle any day, and he is given a chance to go home for a few nights to his wife and he would rather not, and says that it is his loyalty to the other soldiers who are not able to have this same opportunity to visit home.
A man in love, doesnt usually, really doesnt operate like that because love makes a man want to take every opportunity to spend time with the woman that he loves, even if it means returning to battle and his death the next day..... That is even more justification for him to take the opportunity to spend the night with the woman he loves. A man in love is caring and attentive, and willing to do his best to make sure the woman that he loves is happy. It was not as if Uriah was sneaking away to visit home, but he told to go home. Now we dont know if he suspected something, or even if he had heard gossip, because that is not given to us in the text, all we have is the excuse that he uses to not go into his home to his wife.
So can you imagine what that must have felt like for Bathsheba? Her husband is in town, but is sleeping outside with servants and refusing to come home to her. This is rejection, neglect, and disregard. Those are the things that a woman will get from a man who does not love her. So imagine Bathsheba being married to a man who has so little affinity or interest in being a husband to her. You might ask, so does this validate the theories that she was intentionally trying to be seen bathing? I dont know. But what we do see is a married man who declares more loyalty to the army and to the king, than to his wife, or even a desire for her.
To be in a relationship marriage with someone who does not love you and who does not want you is a miserable way to live out your days. Having to pretend to family and friends that everything is ok when there is no real love or passion is hurtful and draining. God's plan for marriage is for it to be the most loving and nourishing experience that affirms both the man and woman, in such a way that their bond is both spiritually and naturally strong. So when we see Bathsheba move on with her life after Uriah's death, I cant help but to think that she must have mourned his death, but that she must have also been relieved to not have to any longer pretend that she was loved and cared for my a man who really didnt want to come home to her. With Uriah out of the way, Bathsheba was free to be loved and cherished.
December 24, 2017
Trust is an Issue
I am very analytical. I overthink some of the most basic details of things. This is a most honest self assessment. Meaning I am the person who can literally stand in a fast food restaurant and think through all of the pro and cons of any menu item, and each and every combination of items that might contain too many calories or make me too full or make me sluggish or maybe cost more than I want to spend for fast food, or maybe might make a mess in the car, or whether I want to or have time to sit inside the restaurant and eat, or if I sit inside the restaurant what type of activities might be going on around me that I dont want to eat around, and on and on and on.
So when I say that I have put some thought to something, that is very much the case. I assess situations like a Rubics Cube. I look at things from all sides and angles and possible meanings and outcomes. This can be to a fault. This type of other thinking can be paralyzing on so many levels. It is a good skill to have because of the type of work that I do because the attention to detail is essential. But for the most basic things in life, I work at not having to think so hard as if it is a journey towards some sort of bliss.
Yes, I have to work on conditioning my mind to not overthink things. Even at this moment, I am writing as form of processing information, which is usually the case. But on today when I have worked an extremely long day, and still have a lot on my mind, I am sitting up writing to sort through my thoughts so that hopefully I will be able to settle down my mind enough to relax and find my way to sleep.
What does all of this have to do with trust? Absolutely everything. When you notice the smallest details, it leads you have sufficient pieces of information to assess and analyze in a way that most people just skim over. And I like most women often have these fairytales playing out in my head of perfect endings and spectacular outcomes. Here in is the foundation to the issues that I have with trust. After much thought, those perfect outcomes turn into realistic reality.
After realizing that I have been replaying this perfect outcome in my head for a few years now, I finally came to the conclusion that holding on to this fairytale ending was draining because when I put it to the reality test, I realized that at the most basic core of the reality is a lack of trust.
A lack of trust really has very little to do with guilt or innocence, perception or deception, but trust is an internal working of the individual. In this way, my inability to fully trust the person or the situation means that there is already a breach, a gapping hole in the fort.
When there is no trust, or even when trust is questionable, there are way to many opportunities for a person with trust issues to find reasons for trust to deplete or simply not be present at all.
Once I realized that my inability to trust in this situation was going to be problematic in a way that would manifest in so many other areas, then I decided to completely throw away my fairytale ending, because it would be like have a Bentley with no tires and no keys...... pointless bragging rights.
Theologically, I had tried to justify my hanging on to hope because I trust God. So that became my blanket assessment of the situation. After years of hoping against hope, I realized that I will continue to trust God regardless. Trusting God is so very different from putting your trust in a person or a situation. There are no guarantees in life, but some times the most trusting thing you can do is realize that God is still on the throne and still in control. So even if I dont get a fairytale ending, staying in a mindset of being able to trust God is most important.
Truth is, everybody and every situation is not deserving of your trust and most fairytales turn into reality sooner or later anyway. So facing reality and learning how to allow wisdom to develop your process and ability to trust means facing facts not vicarious ideals.
After all, God's Truth is based on the facts.
So when I say that I have put some thought to something, that is very much the case. I assess situations like a Rubics Cube. I look at things from all sides and angles and possible meanings and outcomes. This can be to a fault. This type of other thinking can be paralyzing on so many levels. It is a good skill to have because of the type of work that I do because the attention to detail is essential. But for the most basic things in life, I work at not having to think so hard as if it is a journey towards some sort of bliss.
Yes, I have to work on conditioning my mind to not overthink things. Even at this moment, I am writing as form of processing information, which is usually the case. But on today when I have worked an extremely long day, and still have a lot on my mind, I am sitting up writing to sort through my thoughts so that hopefully I will be able to settle down my mind enough to relax and find my way to sleep.
What does all of this have to do with trust? Absolutely everything. When you notice the smallest details, it leads you have sufficient pieces of information to assess and analyze in a way that most people just skim over. And I like most women often have these fairytales playing out in my head of perfect endings and spectacular outcomes. Here in is the foundation to the issues that I have with trust. After much thought, those perfect outcomes turn into realistic reality.
After realizing that I have been replaying this perfect outcome in my head for a few years now, I finally came to the conclusion that holding on to this fairytale ending was draining because when I put it to the reality test, I realized that at the most basic core of the reality is a lack of trust.
A lack of trust really has very little to do with guilt or innocence, perception or deception, but trust is an internal working of the individual. In this way, my inability to fully trust the person or the situation means that there is already a breach, a gapping hole in the fort.
When there is no trust, or even when trust is questionable, there are way to many opportunities for a person with trust issues to find reasons for trust to deplete or simply not be present at all.
Once I realized that my inability to trust in this situation was going to be problematic in a way that would manifest in so many other areas, then I decided to completely throw away my fairytale ending, because it would be like have a Bentley with no tires and no keys...... pointless bragging rights.
Theologically, I had tried to justify my hanging on to hope because I trust God. So that became my blanket assessment of the situation. After years of hoping against hope, I realized that I will continue to trust God regardless. Trusting God is so very different from putting your trust in a person or a situation. There are no guarantees in life, but some times the most trusting thing you can do is realize that God is still on the throne and still in control. So even if I dont get a fairytale ending, staying in a mindset of being able to trust God is most important.
Truth is, everybody and every situation is not deserving of your trust and most fairytales turn into reality sooner or later anyway. So facing reality and learning how to allow wisdom to develop your process and ability to trust means facing facts not vicarious ideals.
After all, God's Truth is based on the facts.
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