There Go I

One of the biggest reasons  that the prosperity gospel is flawed would be ‘the come up.’ Most people do not do well with a drastic and/sudden change in resources and lifestyle. There is something to be said for working and earning what one has over time.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a more comfortable lifestyle. But the truth is that too many become ugly inside from how having money changes the individual.

If too much is given or obtained too quickly, there is a lack of appreciation for what one has and nothing is sufficient or enough. But there is also the lack of empathy for those around the one who feels that they are now removed from their previous situation. It manifest in many ways but in most cases it makes one a great consumer and not a producer.  The money is not the problem, the true refection of the heart is the problem.  I would even go so far as to say that money can have a negative affect on a person's prayer life. This is why Christians often times dont do well with wealth, the wealth comes at the cost of having a heart, toward God and others.

 Consumers are those who love to use their spending power on things that they didn’t have before. How one spends their resources is the easiest way to tell old money from new money. New money makes poor spending decisions on items that are mostly for bragging rights and with very little or no asset value, and most often to impress people who are not impressed anyway. It is the fear of depravity wearing a mask of abundance.  It is a facade.

The sudden ability to have what one never had before becomes overwhelming and even can lead to poor decision-making and gluttony.  Being a consumer becomes addictive..... it becomes the high of being able to obtain what one never had, therefore leading to overspending,  and poor decision making in purchasing more than what is needed. This is exactly why most professional athletes and lottery ticket winners, and drug dealers end up in the exact financial state with a few years.  There is little to no knowledge about saving, investing, sound purchasing, or philanthropy.

When fear controls the individual it will cause a level of selfishness that leaves no room for investing in vetted causes or charities, and definitely not becoming a resource by founding a charitable or philanthropic organization. When Christians forget to help others, they risk missing out in the greatest way to be like Christ, and that is to become a giver and a producer.   When Jesus fed the people, he did with no expectation of return or compensation.  As a matter of fact, most of the time, Jesus told those that he did something for not to tell others. This is because the nature of God is to give.  We learn to be like Christ in the way that we treat others. How we treat others is a direct  reflection of how we see our relationship with God.  When we have a positive outlook on our relationship with God, there is an openness to share not only the Good News of the Gospel, but to overall have a positive impact in the lives of others.  We can truly be living examples of Christ on earth.      

 It has been proven that giving and affinity go hand-in-hand. A person will invest in what they have some emotional attachment to. Therefore, it can be said that those who suddenly obtain too much too fast become detached and lose their ability to care or to love others.  Their affinity goes toward the obtained material wealth or objects obtained. This is why loving people,  those you can see, is essential because it is a reflection on one’s relationship to God. And it can only be faked or pretended for a short span of time. The state of one’s heart will eventually be shown for how it truly is.

 At the core, the basic need is a sense of  resolve that  comes only from right relationship with God. Therefore it can be said that the individual is seeking a form of peace that will never come from the material that is bought/purchased, but can only come from an internal peace. Like any other addiction the issue is not the outward manifestation,  but is in fact the internal turmoil that is causing the outward affect. A lack of peace and the inability to see what God has gifted the person with besides material objects and economic ability will always leave the person to rely on what they can grasp and that is material and superficial. This all leads to a person who is shallow and superficial. 

Money or material gain is not a guarantee of happiness.  The most current events of the past few years where more and more famous/rich individuals are committing suicide is proof that one's internal state of being is much more important than tangible material gain or wealth. There are some things that every human being needs that money can not buy.

 God wants us to have abundant life, including nice things, but as good stewards of that abundance, not wasteful and overindulged. Because we live in a culture that loves amenities and creature comforts, it’s hard to imagine living a life with less than the newest most fashionable and most desired objects. This is what capitalism is built on, the reliance on human beings to fulfill their depravity with objects instead of seeking internal peace.  People in sales love hurting people because they purchase, they become repeat spenders. As a matter of fact, if more people had the Peace of God, the spending patterns of our entire world would change.

 This is exactly what religious vows of poverty are about, not becoming consumed with being a consumer but actually becoming comfortable enough in the sufficiency of having basic needs met that one becomes productive both spiritually and naturally. Christians should be producers, should be people who seek out ways to help others find peace through sharing the gospel, the good news, but should also live a lifestyle  that reflects the internal peace and the strength to not always needing to follow the trends of obtaining the newest object.

 Let’s be honest money changes a person. There are very few people that are not affected by gaining wealth. or even a higher salary. But the important thing is to remember that the higher salary or the wealth is not the issue,  it is a matter of what this does to the internal workings of the individual. One of the most grounding things that a person can do to remember who they really are is to remain a giver.  Giving to others allows one to remain empathetic, if the individual allows their thought process to remain open and clear about the difference between self and the other person. Spending time around one's old neighborhood and staying connected to everyday life of everyday people can keep one open to receive the realization of how powerful God's sufficiency really is in keeping one resilient (Philippians 4:13).  This is how you learn to be content and remain grateful. One of the things that I heard quite often growing up was the saying “but for the grace of God, there go I.”

Trust is an Issue

I am very analytical.  I overthink some of the most basic details of things.  This is a most honest self assessment. Meaning I am the person who can literally stand in a fast food restaurant and think through all of the pro and cons of any menu item, and each and every combination of items that might contain too many calories or make me too full or make me sluggish or maybe cost more than I want to spend for fast food, or maybe might make a mess in the car, or whether I want to or have time to sit inside the restaurant and eat, or if I sit inside the restaurant what type of activities might be going on around me that I dont want to eat around, and on and on and on.

So when I say that I have put some thought to something, that is very much the case. I assess situations like a Rubics Cube. I look at things from all sides and angles and possible meanings and outcomes.  This can be to a fault. This type of other thinking can be paralyzing on so many levels.  It is a good skill  to have because of the type of work that I do because the attention to detail is essential. But for the most basic things in life, I work at not having to think so hard as if it is a journey towards some sort of bliss.

Yes, I have to work on conditioning my mind to not overthink things.  Even at this moment, I am writing as form of processing information, which is usually the case. But on today when I have worked an extremely long day, and still have a lot on my mind, I am sitting up writing to sort through my thoughts so that hopefully I will be able to settle down my mind enough to relax and find my way to sleep.

What does all of this have to do with trust? Absolutely everything.  When you notice the smallest details, it leads you have sufficient pieces of information to assess and analyze in a way that most people just skim over. And I like most women often have these fairytales playing out in my head of perfect endings and spectacular outcomes. Here in is the foundation to the issues that I have with trust.  After much thought, those perfect outcomes turn into realistic reality.

After realizing that I have been replaying this perfect outcome in my head for a few years now, I finally came to the conclusion that holding on to this fairytale ending was draining because when I put it to the reality test, I realized that at the most basic core of the reality is a lack of trust. 
A lack of trust really has very little to do with guilt or innocence, perception or deception, but trust is an internal working of the individual.  In this way, my inability to fully trust the person or the situation means that there is already a breach, a gapping hole in the fort.

When there is no trust, or even when trust is questionable, there are way to many opportunities for a person with trust issues to find reasons for trust to deplete or simply not be present at all.
Once I realized that my inability to trust  in this situation was going to be problematic in a way that would manifest in so many other areas, then I decided to completely throw away my fairytale ending, because it would be like have a Bentley with no tires and no keys...... pointless bragging rights.

Theologically, I had tried to justify my hanging on to hope because I trust God.  So that became my blanket assessment of the situation.  After years of hoping against hope, I realized that I will continue to trust God regardless.  Trusting God is so very different from putting your trust in a person or a situation.  There are no guarantees in life, but some times the most trusting thing you can do is realize that God is still on the throne and still in control. So even if I dont get a fairytale ending, staying in a mindset of being able to trust God is most important.

Truth is, everybody and every situation is not deserving of your trust and most fairytales turn into reality sooner or later anyway. So facing reality and learning how to allow wisdom to develop your process and ability to trust means facing facts not vicarious ideals.

After all, God's Truth is based on the facts.

Parts and Divides

This past weekend something came to my mind that I really hadnt thought much about in years.  It was a very hurtful and devastating phase of my life.  It doesnt take up much space in my thoughts because it is in the past; and God got me through the situation  and beyond the situation.

But today, as I reflect, I think about how faithful God was to me in the midst of a great trying time in my life. Against all odds, God provided for me as a single mother. There were times and challenges, and there still are, but through it all God has been faithful.  My testimony is a very amazing one. It causes me to stand in awe of how great God truly has been to me.  It has given me such a grateful heart.  It has also shown me how to be ok with and without over the years.

Just thinking about how badly things could have gone for me is enough to make what I survived even more amazing.  God's hand of protection was with me through some things that seem to be more dramatic than anything in a movie plot. But sometimes reality is more extreme than anything a movie writer can formulate for the big screen.

Even some of the things that I am currently dealing with fall under the category of 'troubled on every side, yet not distressed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed.'  Adversaries thought I would be destroyed, but what they found out was that God has created me to be formidable.  Storms have been brewing all around me and God has given me so much grace that I am watching it all take place as if I have a great seat in a theater in the round.

When I think about  the characteristics of God, I have to remember that along with being a Creator and Sustainer, God is also a Divider and a Separator.   Initially these may seem to be negatives, but when we read God's Word, we see in the the very beginning of creation God divided light from darkness.  This can lead to a plethora of theological and homiletic themes.  Much of the biblical text carries out this theme of separation that God makes dividing lines, if you will.

The parting of the Red Sea is talked about in terms of its miracle quality, but we must not forget the logistical components of God being able to divide.  This is proof that God can part or separate anything that God so desires.  This kind of divide meant that not only did the water divide, but every creature and composition within the ecological environment of the sea.  What was created by God, must submit to God's command.  What an awesome thought. What a humbling thought.

Whatever the situation, all that is needed is for God to speak.  God clearly makes distinctions at times to accomplish the Will and Purpose of God.  It may be temporary and it may be permanent. But it is God's pleasure that the creation must obey.  This has been true in many of the fine details of my life. I thank God for keeping me separated from foolishness. God has done some things that can only be credited to the ONE, the TRUE,  and LIVING GOD.

Unplanned PLAN

There are clearly some things that were not in my plans for my life, but they were ultimately part of God's Plan for my life. Today I have really been giving some thought to my journey. Recently, it would seem that things are going exactly the way that I was trying to prevent having to deal with.  I want the final outcome, but not the challenges that would be the risk of losing something to gain something. Not in the same way that I invest in products for my business to be able to provide a service to my clients. But more like a mother who wants to have a new baby, but does not want to feel the pains of labor.

In recent years, there have been medical advances that have taken away the necessity of enduring the pain of labor. And overall, our world is filled with comforts that take the work out of many of the every day processes of life. Washing machines, electric saws, power tools, and on and on. I think back to learning how to make cake icing, and the process required this combination of mixing and whisking to blend the ingredients, and even after they were blended, you had to whisk the mixture at least 100 strokes to make the icing have the correct fluffy texture. And even now that I have many of the electric kitchen tools, there are some things that to me just dont come out the same without the work of doing it by hand, and icing is one of those things. 

So we have become so accustomed to the world of convenience that we often forget that some things have no shortcut process that will produce the same results as going through the process. Just like icing or grilling meat low and slow over charcoal, there are some things in life that have to happen a certain way for the most rewarding outcome. And as I was thinking about the events of my life in recent days, I began to reminisce on the book by Zora Neale Hurston, "Their Eyes Were Watching God" which is about a main character who is living her life, but surrounded by spectators who all have an opinion about her life, as if they understand her journey more so than she. The character navigates her life, its ups and downs working through the challenges as they come to her reality, as she is finding her way. 

In this same way, each of us has our journey through life to navigate and it is very much an individual process that happens while simultaneously being surround by community. When someone has a call to ministry on their life, it can be assumed that God has a plan for that person's life.  No matter how much anyone has an opinion about what that looks like, it is God who is taking care of the details. To grow to the point of being able to flourish in one's gifts and live out one's calling, there are some parts of the journey that are growing one's skills for ministry.  This means that it will not always flow with the ease of water going down hill. There will be times when one will have to face some things head on and take the challenge to grow, if one is really surrendered to the point of allowing God to be in control of what is ultimately God's Will for one's life in ministry. 

From point A to point B, is not always clear, there will be times when one will have to whole-heartedly trust God for the details to work out as planned by God, not by our idea of how things should go.  I have been asking God to show me how to get to point B without the discomfort of the middle part of the process. The discomfort is part of the journey, it is what make the reward worth the effort.  Just like a track runner who wants to be the fasted, it cant happen sitting in the stands, but it happens by learning everything necessary to sharpen one's natural ability and from running until time gets better. 

The challenges we face in life are not always ideal, nor comfortable to go through, but when you want the outcome badly enough, you decide to face the challenge head on and take the bad with the good, because it will be worth it all in the end.  Today, I decided that I am up for challenge of facing the discomfort that will only have to be endure for a short time to get what I ultimately want to see manifested in my life. The discomfort cant be avoided, it is part of the path that leads me right to where God is taking me. 

Psalms 23:4 - "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

It is not actual death, it is just a shadow and shadows only produce fear when you  dont know what it is a shadow of or from what source.   Since I know that it has been my own fear, I can ignore the shadow.  I will continue on toward what God has for me. I want God's best for my life because it will be worth the challenges along to way and shadows let me know that God's Light is what is real.