Eating Crow

To figure out that you are wrong about something may or may not be a big deal.  When this realization is a private one, it is only your own processing of the information that has to be taken into account.  But when you have to admit to others that you are wrong, the error in judgment, the details, and miscalculations take on a whole different level of internal response. Not only does one have to deal with the outcomes and need for adjustments because of the error, but there is also the added communication that others want to have about something that one would rather not talk about.


All of the thoughts of dread that go with the conversation about the error are not only unwanted, but can be overwhelming because of the multiple times that one repeatedly answers the same or similar questions about the matter. It becomes hard to navigate who is genuinely concerned and who is simply seeking out a juicy bit of information.

To talk about what has happened is part of the healing process. Each individual heals at their own pace, and therefore each individual is ready to talk about their miscalculation with no specific appropriate time frame to be determined as right or wrong by anyone else. Add to this the distinct differences in how men and women process information, respond to information, and need to talk to process information, and you have a variety of ways in which human beings deal with the mistakes that they make in life.


There are times when a person realizes their mistake but refuses to make the necessary adjustments because of pride. In some ways this can seem to others as form of stubbornness.  More often than not, the person who is processing their mistake and what making the needed changes entails wants to do so on their own terms and not the terms of others. This can be very stressful when others want to rush or force the transitions necessary to handle a mistake in one's own life. This will cause the individual to avoid making the necessary decisions because there is a sense that others are pressuring or attempting to orchestrate one's life for them. This pressure adds to the resistance by the individual to do what is necessary because that is a mechanism built into being stubborn in the process.

Theologically, when a person is walking in disobedience to God, not only is there the issue of stubbornness, but there is usually some sort of attempt to negotiate with God.  Negotiation, in many cases is caused by the unwillingness to trust God or to surrender to God's Will.  The mistakes that happen in one's life because of disobedience can be disheartening because the limitations of being human dont allow us to see into the future.  And many times, attempting to negotiate with God can lead us into situations that we could not have possibly seen coming.

On our best day, each of us wants to believe that we are up for any challenge and because of this we can sometimes believe that we can handle situations without realizing that God sees all sides of a situation and we are only able to see what is present before us at any given time.  Our speculations are not guarantees, but we yet have to make life decisions based on the information that we have, and this does not always work out the way that we planned. 

There are other times, when there are warning signs, and even divinely inspired clues that let us know that we should do things differently or make a different decisions but we dont always heed the warning signs. Often times, these warnings and clues come from those closest to us, friends and family.  And this can also become part of the challenge to figure out who is giving genuine insight or divinely inspired insight versus those who are giving advice based on how it will work best for themselves. Each of us usually knows who the self serving individuals are around us, be we can not always be 100% certain in every situation, because trust can sometimes be very fluid.

So when a situation does not go the way that one has planned, and this realization means that it is time to come to terms with the mistake and admit that it didnt work out as planned, this can sometimes be hard to admit.  And this is where the concept of 'Eating Crow' comes into being part of the reality that one must face.  The term comes from the fact that crow is not palatable or good tasting bird. It is said to have a bad smell and taste, and be very hard to digest. Being reduced to eating crow, means putting one's pride to the side.

As I said earlier, it is one thing to admit a mistake to yourself privately, but to admit a mistake to others takes on a whole other level of character building because mistakes rarely happen when or the way that we expect them to, simply because we rarely start anything hoping for a negative outcome, and most times we dont have a completed back up plan, we just make it up and adjust as we go.  So when others start asking questions that one does not want to answer, there is the additional stress of people asking questions that one has not had time to fully process or plan for alternative ways of dealing with the situation.  All of this can be overwhelming.

But this is what redemption is all about. God is always there to receive us and to help us get back on track.  Once we are willing to put our pride aside and acknowledge that we want and need God's guidance, God is faithful.  Even when there is residue from our mistakes on our lives, God is still there welcoming those who come back home.

THE STORY:

A young man bought a new boat. He was excited about the boat because he had plans of being a great fisherman.  He was going to take his new boat and the cute little kitten that he had found out to sea for the fishing season. 

Several people around him told him that they thought his boat was fine for staying close to the shore, but would not endure the long season in the deep waters miles away from the shore.  They also told him that the kitten was not a good idea because he would not want to be stuck out at sea with the kitten. 

The young man looked into the kitten's eyes and thought it most adorable and could not image how this kitten could become a problem out at sea.  He thought that he would be able to feed the kitten from his catch of fish and he had visions of both he and the kitten being happy keeping each other company during the fishing season. 

When the day came to begin his time out at sea, the young man happily told his friends that he would be fine, all the while they were still wondering how he was going to make it through the rough waters of the sea in his new boat with the kitten.   As the boat floated a couple of miles away from the shore,  the young man notices a small puddle of water on one end of the boat.  He thought maybe the splashing of a wave had brought some water onto the boat and he thought nothing more about it.   But the next day, there was more water on the boat.  He look around wondering if he had slept through a rain the night before, but took the only thing that he could find, a small cup and scooped out the water, throwing it back into the ocean. 

After a few days, the young man began to notice that the kitten was changing, looking a little different, but still just as adorable. He was occupied most days with catching enough fish to feed the kitten who was seeming to take on a huge appetite with each passing day.  This had left him little time to be attentive to navigating the boat because he spent most of his time constantly removing the water that was seeming to collect in the boat much faster than in the beginning. And the rest of the time he was only catching enough fish to feed the kitten, and some times was not always able to catch enough to feed himself.  This whole process was making him weak and weary.

One day, he looked at the kitten and realized that it had matured into a bobcat. He now understood the warnings that he had been given by his friends and family about taking the kitten along on the journey.  Even though it was clearly a bobcat, when he looked at it what he saw was the memories of what he thought was a cute and harmless kitten. But the nature of the cat had now changed and his interactions with it also had to change. And at the same time, the boat had taken on so much water that it was going to be near to impossible to get all of the water out of the boat. 

Faced with saving himself and the bobcat, the man contemplated what to do, knowing that he would have to decide soon because his life depended on it.   When he looked around to try to decide what his options were, he realized that with all of the time he had been out in the water that he had not navigated but had drifted a few miles from the shore.  Land and safety was still an option.

Having to decide about swimming in the waters and without having eaten much, knowing that his body was weak, he looked caringly  at the bobcat and wondered how would he save both himself and his kitten.  The bobcat was hungry. The boat was taking on water.  He was going to have to decide something.  He was already living with his mistakes, and now he really wanted to get it right. 

As he looked toward the shore, dread come over him. The dread was of coming back on shore, back to land and safety, but having to admit that he had made a mistake.  The thought of admitting his mistake became more important than saving his own life.   His pride was about to consume him.

All those who had warned him were watching from the shore. They had all wanted the best for him, but now they just wanted him to choose to save himself.  Even though he was to far away to hear them, they were all cheering for him, hoping that he would make it back to safety.  But as he look to the shore, the only thing he could think about was having to explain what had happened to him and why he was wrong.  It didnt occur to him that everyone who had warned him was doing so because they had the insight to warn him for a reason and that they cared enough to say something. Their words were not built from negativity, but from care and concern.  All of the warnings had been an attempt to show support and warn him for his own safety.  And this also meant, that they were not as surprised as he thought they would be about how things had turned out for him.

He hesitated. They watched. No one could make the choice for him.

Would the ship sink first or would the bobcat eat him before the ship sank, or would he choose to risk the swim toward shore, back to land, safety, and a welcomed return filled with too many questions?

Trust is an Issue

I am very analytical.  I overthink some of the most basic details of things.  This is a most honest self assessment. Meaning I am the person who can literally stand in a fast food restaurant and think through all of the pro and cons of any menu item, and each and every combination of items that might contain too many calories or make me too full or make me sluggish or maybe cost more than I want to spend for fast food, or maybe might make a mess in the car, or whether I want to or have time to sit inside the restaurant and eat, or if I sit inside the restaurant what type of activities might be going on around me that I dont want to eat around, and on and on and on.

So when I say that I have put some thought to something, that is very much the case. I assess situations like a Rubics Cube. I look at things from all sides and angles and possible meanings and outcomes.  This can be to a fault. This type of other thinking can be paralyzing on so many levels.  It is a good skill  to have because of the type of work that I do because the attention to detail is essential. But for the most basic things in life, I work at not having to think so hard as if it is a journey towards some sort of bliss.

Yes, I have to work on conditioning my mind to not overthink things.  Even at this moment, I am writing as form of processing information, which is usually the case. But on today when I have worked an extremely long day, and still have a lot on my mind, I am sitting up writing to sort through my thoughts so that hopefully I will be able to settle down my mind enough to relax and find my way to sleep.

What does all of this have to do with trust? Absolutely everything.  When you notice the smallest details, it leads you have sufficient pieces of information to assess and analyze in a way that most people just skim over. And I like most women often have these fairytales playing out in my head of perfect endings and spectacular outcomes. Here in is the foundation to the issues that I have with trust.  After much thought, those perfect outcomes turn into realistic reality.

After realizing that I have been replaying this perfect outcome in my head for a few years now, I finally came to the conclusion that holding on to this fairytale ending was draining because when I put it to the reality test, I realized that at the most basic core of the reality is a lack of trust. 
A lack of trust really has very little to do with guilt or innocence, perception or deception, but trust is an internal working of the individual.  In this way, my inability to fully trust the person or the situation means that there is already a breach, a gapping hole in the fort.

When there is no trust, or even when trust is questionable, there are way to many opportunities for a person with trust issues to find reasons for trust to deplete or simply not be present at all.
Once I realized that my inability to trust  in this situation was going to be problematic in a way that would manifest in so many other areas, then I decided to completely throw away my fairytale ending, because it would be like have a Bentley with no tires and no keys...... pointless bragging rights.

Theologically, I had tried to justify my hanging on to hope because I trust God.  So that became my blanket assessment of the situation.  After years of hoping against hope, I realized that I will continue to trust God regardless.  Trusting God is so very different from putting your trust in a person or a situation.  There are no guarantees in life, but some times the most trusting thing you can do is realize that God is still on the throne and still in control. So even if I dont get a fairytale ending, staying in a mindset of being able to trust God is most important.

Truth is, everybody and every situation is not deserving of your trust and most fairytales turn into reality sooner or later anyway. So facing reality and learning how to allow wisdom to develop your process and ability to trust means facing facts not vicarious ideals.

After all, God's Truth is based on the facts.

Temptation

Today, was a good day.  I went to church, as I regularly do, but today was different for several reasons. I have had a lot on my mind and I have been questioning some of the ways that I have handled some choices in my personal life.  

As most of us do at some point and time,  I was thinking about how differently my outcomes could have been if I had made some different choices, both career and personal.   So when I say that I went to church today, that was really loaded with a lot of alternatives that were going through my head---specifically the thought of spending the day on the beach.  But I decided to stay the course and go to church. 

I love my church.  Being a part of a community of believers is very important to me.  What makes this important is the shared understanding of what Phil Robertson- the patriarch of the Duck Dynasty family- calls "Biblical Correctness".   Biblical principles are the foundation to my views and to be in a church that goes to the Bible to articulate why certain topic should be discussed a certain way or managed a certain way is important. 

Today we had a guest speaker. I have never heard him before, and didnt know anything about him other than I know that there are some specific criteria about the type of speaker that will be invited to speak at my church. And this man did not disappoint.  The topic of his sermon was "Our Conviction". He gave several examples of why we have our convictions and what the world system is set in place to do regarding pulling us way from what we believe about God and our walk as believers and followers of Christ. 

So, as I reflect on several things, I realize that what causes us to be challenged in our convictions is temptation.  It comes in many forms and in many ways. It is not always the obvious right or wrong, but temptation most of the time looks like the better option. It looks like the easier option and it markets a better outcome.  

Temptation  has the job of trying to convince you that you can outsmart the plan of God.   In this way, making wrong look right is the ultimate goal.   And it is impossible to hold on to both wrong and right at the same time. So temptation is what forces you to feel like you have to choose, it becomes an either/or dynamic. This is when you begin to feel the urge that a choice must be made quickly, before you miss the opportunity and before you talk your self into something else.   Anything that requires you to rush, might be something to take notice of whether it is leading you in the right way or the wrong way. Ask yourself, what is the urgency?  If the urgency is not related to pleasing God or obeying God's Word, then more than likely it is temptation trying to pull you away from what is right. 

Since it is temptation's job to look like, not only a good idea, but the best idea, this means that many times scripture or doing right will seem to be the outcome.  For example, Sarah had already been given a promise from God. One that she laughed at because it seemed impossible.  It was not that she didn't want what God had promised, but in her trying to rationalize how it could be, she decided to help the process along. She decided to act without instruction from God.   If God could send the messengers to tell her and her husband what God was going to do, then obviously if God had instructions for them those would have been given. But without instructions Sarah figured she would figure it out herself.  

Temptation would have to believe that God needs you to figure out how to make what God has already said come to reality. This is not true. God is fully aware of the details needed for what God has planned for your life. God has all of the details under control. 

DISOBEDIENCE

A few weeks ago, I was praying about some very specific things. This was intercession for several people and situations and also specifically for someone whose life is obviously facing several challenges. It is one of those times when you cant help but to be empathetic when you see someone hurting, but what became clear the more I prayed about it was that this person was dealing with their own disobedience.

We have all been there. Anyone who claims perfection makes me skeptical to put it kindly. I know that I have at many times walked in my own stubborn way concerning some situations in my own life. But as my faith has increased, I have learned that it is much better to just learn to practice patience than to have to figure out how to correct unnecessary mistakes. In the end, I have learned to just remind myself that I trust God.

So I sat with the concept for a few days, trying to decide if I was supposed to say something to the person or to just continue to pray. Galatians 5:18 kept coming to my mind. I kept reading the whole chapter and trying to figure out how to have a conversation about what was going on in the natural versus what was going on in the spiritual. Way to often do we respond to spiritual things in the natural.  Using one's cognitive abilities must come by wisdom to know the difference. I would like to spend some time talking about discernment, but I think that will happen another time. But for now, I will just say that we have to learn to follow our discernment, it is God showing us what we are responding to and how to best respond.

The conclusion that came to was that this person already knows that they are being disobedient, because it is written into the fact of being disobedient. A person has to be given instruction and be intentional about doing something else for it to classify as disobedience. It is the complete opposite of to obey. There is a complete difference in doing something wrong and not knowing that it was wrong, or not knowing what should be done. But once you have been told what to do and act with intention and purposefully calculate how to do otherwise, that is clearly disobedience. 

Being analytical, I began to think about the reasons that a Christian would be disobedient to God. At the top of the list was fear. Doubting God's provision is what causes the fear. When a person becomes fearful of their needs not being met, they respond with their survival instincts and not their faith. Many times, this survival instinct is why we respond based on the facts in the natural instead of the spiritual.  The bible is full of warnings about the flesh because the body is a strong guide, if we don't remain intentional about keeping our intentions on doing things according to God's design. Instinct and flesh encourages one to do things in a way that will produce a right now solution, even if it doesn't guarantee longevity or vitality to one's life. The deception is in thinking that we can do more for ourselves than God can do for us. In actuality, God wants to give us much more than we can image possible. It is the limitations of our human minds that cant see all that God wants to give us. So instead of reaching for what we cant even imagine from the hand of God, we go after what we can see and get for ourselves. 

Wanting a solution right now, and an easy solution is basically attempting to outsmart God. This never turns out to be the easiest way to go about things, but the flaws of humanity seem to make this appealing. It takes a few bumps in the road of life to see that God's way is going to be the best way to face any situation in life. Because it is much better to face challenges with God on our side, than to know that we have been in opposition to the very thing that God has instructed us to focus on in life.

For the Christian who is attempting to remain in their disobedience, this is when they want prayer and encouragement from other Christians, all at the same time, knowing that in their heart they have not decided to change directions or the intent of their actions. But instead want other to ask God on their behalf that God bless their disobedience. It doesn't work like that!

And most amazingly, it is usually the very people that warned the person in the beginning not to be disobedient, that they return to asking to pray for them in the midst of what they are dealing with, as if they have forgotten what they were already told.  They had received plenty of warning, because God is not going to see a person going the wrong way without giving one some guidance in how to do things differently and get yourself out of the situation before it draws you in. God is direct and not going to leave you with unsolvable riddles about the plans God has for your life.

Stubborn is the best way to describe the response to the warnings that came long before the trouble. The thing is that trouble never actually seems to be a problem in the beginning. If it wasn't appealing then it would not be a temptation. The need to rationalize why the temptation is not that bad is just a way to justify doing what one wants to do. Of course in the beginning the situation seemed manageable, and of course listening to those who love you enough to warn you was not the option taken, but instead mashing the gas and moving full speed ahead to prove that it could be done your way.  But in the midst of doing it your way, is where you find compassion from those who loved you enough to tell you the truth and warn you in the beginning.  They cant stop the situation, but they can pray and stand on God's Word. We, Christians, want to see our wounded healed and made whole by the Power of God.

Christians who are true to their faith will always speak in terms of God's instructions. The Word of God applies to the Christian and to the sinner, to ALL. To the world this seems to lack love, but in truth it is the most loving thing that can be done. I will admit that there are those who seem to be so harsh in their expression that others don't see the love, but most Christians are not telling you about God's instructions without knowing that they work because of their own challenges in life where God has proven to be the best solution to any problem or circumstance. Every Christian knows what it is like to repent, to have to ask God for forgiveness and to begin the journey back to where God's instruction and provision are for one's life.

I can't help but think about my own childhood. When I was young we took regular vacations to the beach. Back then, swimming in the ocean did not include a lot of concern for shark attacks and we would swim out into the water much farther than we could stand up. As a matter of fact, I can remember plenty of times swimming out so far that I would have to wait for the waves to see how far I actually was from the shore. When I realized that I was too far from shore, I would begin to swim back towards safety.  I would swim out so far, because my Daddy and my uncles were also in the water, and I knew that they would come help me if I got in trouble. But they also let me swim out so far, because they knew that I was a strong swimmer. My ability allowed me to do what many of my other relatives could not do, go out into deeper waters. But even then I had to know when it was time to turn around and return to safety.

For the person who is being disobedient to God, they are out in the deep on their own. Once so far out into the deep and away from safety, the decision has to be made whether to continue going further away from safety, or whether to turn around and begin to return as fast as possible back to where there is help and support to getting back in the Will of God.


Run towards obedience.

Due Season

There is a moment in time when what seems impossible or beyond your ability suddenly looks different to you. Not because the situation has changed in the natural, but because your perspective has changed spiritually. It is when you realize that God is much more calculating than the challengers and much more limber than the obstacles. It is when you begin to see the unimaginable starting to manifest before it has actually happened completely. It is when your perspective changes from 'I don't see how'...... to 'there is NOTHING too hard for GOD'.  In that moment, you realize that God is about to give you a miracle. God is about to do something that a human could not do or take the credit for when it happens.   When it is a true miracle, no one can be given the credit for the accomplishment but God. 

One of the most amazing things that can happen is to watch God bring about a shift in a situation in your life.  There are times when you can't  see or imagine how to get from one manifestation to another, but God is so much better at the details than we could ever be, and God works in and through things that we have not even thought could be resolved. It is the awesome ability of God to orchestrate and demonstrate POWER.

Many times we think of due as a moment, but it is a time, a season. When the season shifts we must be ready.  We must be tuned into the Will of God, and to the Holy Spirit, so that we can properly respond to the shifting of the seasons.

Due Season is a shift that is not able to be calculated exactly, but when it comes, we have to be ready to change our mindset, because our function and mentality have to shift with the season. It is similar to harvest for the farmer. It does not happen in one day, but in one day you can realize that it is time to shift. The shift is when you begin to see things as ready for another phase than before.

Due Season is when you have to begin to work differently because the task and goal is different. It requires a completely different mode of operation, one that you have to be prepared for, or you will not shift efficiently in what must be done.

For example, the farmer who has prepared the ground, and planted and watered, and pulled weeds and kept an eye on the field, will begin to notice the changes that occur as the field begins to sprout and then to grow. As it grows, the farmer can begin to anticipate and even calculate when it will be time to harvest what has been planted. But there will come a day when the farmer realizes that it is time to shift, from nurturing the crops to harvesting the crops. It would look like he is destroying his own work, but in truth he has shifted to another season.  Every thing about his mechanism must change because it is a new season. One that requires the readiness to do something with the harvest. Not only does the harvest have to happen within a window of time, but also what is going to be done with the newly harvested crop must also happen in this season, or else the work will only produce a portion of its full potential. The crop as it is harvested has to be managed to prepare for use and for storage. If the crop is not stored properly it will not be able to keep for a long period of time and much of it will become useless and spoiled. Therefore, the crop must be gathered and stored in a way that gives it potential not just for the due season, but for the seasons that are to come that will not produce anything new. It is God's way of preparing us for a time when nothing is coming due, but so that we will have no lack or need.

This is why it is so important to understand the value of the Due Season. The excitement of knowing God is providing must be met with wisdom to understand that it is God maturing some things in our lives that God has been preparing and making ready. When all the details are just as God wants, then the season shifts and the value of what we have been looking at one way suddenly turns as we see things coming not only to natural maturity, but spiritual maturity.

Due Season is the day that you realize that the shift is actually happening, that God has actually done more than you could have imaged possible. It is like the crop planted in the ground, the dirt is covering its progress, just like the situations in our lives cover our own progress. But as the plant grows and sprouts above ground, it is easier to see the progress. We have to know that God is working even when we don't see the progress. This is our faith in what God has promised.

When we begin to see the things sprouting, we can get excited because of its potential, but when God brings it into full maturity, it will be beyond what we could have ever imagined, because it is not only to help us survive, but it is also to nourish us -- both spiritually and naturally.  It is also to help us walk in the fulfillment of our purpose and calling.

Due Season is not just to relieve the needs and lacking places in our lives, but it is to give us the strength and nourishment to walk in our calling and give us the fortitude and tenacity to walk in every gift that God has placed within us.

God's provision is amazing. God's provision contains so many details that we could have never even imagined. And in the timing of God, when every detail that seemed to be separate and unconnected  suddenly makes sense, that is God showing us that it is time to prepare for a new season in our life. When God's Promise suddenly seems tangible, that is God telling us to get prepared for the harvest that we will have when the season has shifted. It cant be rushed, but we also have to be ready.

We have to have our mind prepared to let go of the old season and the work that we did in that past season and look forward to the things that will take us forward in God and the abundance of what God has been preparing to place before us in Due Season.


John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come so that they may have life, and may have it abundantly.